Hi, I am not sure if anyone has experienced this as of yet but as I have never encountered this before I thought I would ask and share. I recently split from my somewhat controlling abusive partner back in Feb of this year, he really was a nightmare, name calling, manipulative, one minute happy the next not, anti depressants and all sorts etc, but since him i have met someone online who wouldn't be my normal type.
He is 6 years older, has a daughter (I don't have any children) and lives literally 10 minutes. When I saw his photo I just thought, lovely, very good-looking and we got on so well. He was quite timid and kept on mentioning we should meet, but it took 3 goes for him to meet me as he was so worried in case this site was just all about one night stands and so when the time came he did a runner and i thought he was a player, which then resulted in me arguing with him, which ended up quite amusing.
3 months later, he still contacts me, and says he has never forgotten me and liked the fact we have something but not sure what it is and tells me that he doesn't want a one night stand, a fling and when he was on this site thats pretty much what others wanted that he met and he was put off by it.
Since then we are non stop texting, we are very independent, he sees his little girl every other weekend and I have quite a jam packed lifestyle around work/friends/social and my family so our commitments work out well outside of our relationship.
We have met up twice, (finally lol) and I just love being around him, it feels natural, we can talk for hours and its like I have known him for years, he says he feels the same, never met anyone like me before and feels like its a one off in his life and he can't stop smiling. What is strange is I don't get this impulsive feeling like I normally get in other relationships to start with, intense, passionate etc, and then fizzles out or worse we don't have the same things in common - its more I just like being with you and your personality is wonderful. He says this is me you get what you see and pretty much he is what he is.
I am finding myself trying to anaylse when I do I get nothing, compared to my ex who is the way he is I am always so worried thinking, he may cheat, he may do this, but they are so different in many ways here. We both like what we have and are not throwing ourselves into the bedroom department either, but there is a lovely attraction. It feels easy, natural, he says he doesn't have to pretend to be someone he isn't and likewise for me even though I am still wary but i blame the ex lol.
We arent rushing and see each other twice a week, anyone else had this type of relationship where its like you are great friends, easy to get along with no complications and feels like you want to spend more time getting to know each other without any intensity? We are both in sync too and have the same backgrounds, family, lifestyle work ethics, travel aspirations and hobbies as well. Interesting with the others, it was all about lust, sex and realised we had nothing in common a year down the line. This one is different, this was his words too.
What did throw me was that I had to contact the ex for him to pick up his bike which he has left at my house as I am moving next month, only for him to tell me his operation took longer than expected and asking where was I moving to? I have no intentions of telling him and never asked how his op went, just that initial contact has made me feel quite sick and nervous and it was right before I was meeting this guy too...so not always a good time as I felt out of sync.
This new guy has been married before, 5 years only and was single for 4 years whilst out in Dubai working. So his independence his huge but part of me likes this and he feels now, his words he is ready to settle and that having another child for maisie his little girl too would be something he would like as well, as for me too.
I like this feeling, he is like my best friend too.
Thank you for reading
x