Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

do you have a 'sex routine'??

14 replies

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 16/05/2014 23:49

Dp and I are going through a dry spell and sex has fallen off the radar for various reasons. I'm keen desperate to kick start it but he's not fussed at the moment so I'm not pushing it.

However I've been thinking about it lots and think we were stuck in a rut before the drought.

Usual routine was kiss, caress, pants and knickers off, bit of mutual masturbation then piv. I'm lucky in that I can come through piv but I think this makes us lazy.

Does everyone have a routine or are you all swinging from the lightshades?

OP posts:
EverythingCounts · 16/05/2014 23:54

Sounds like two separate issues here, one about getting things going again and one about the variety of it. I would tackle one first. What can you do about the 'various reasons' for the dry spell?

Prettykitty111 · 16/05/2014 23:55

Yes, nag, nag, nag, nag some more, ask if he's gone off me, nag a bit more, make a show of trying to lose some weight because he has obs gone of me. Then we have sex. Wait 6 months or so and repeat.
DH has had a terrible few years work related and has lost a lot of self confidence. I try to be understanding but sometimes I can't help turning into a harridan unti I get my way. I have tried everything! Watching with interest and hoping for some good ideas...

Original poster
BobPatandIgglePiggle · 16/05/2014 23:59

Work stress mainly - we're both shattered, him more so. We'll work it out.

Notvrea a thread about a thread but reading the cum face one got me wondering if we're really boring!

We used to shag in the hallway etc pre dc!

OP posts:
Original poster
BobPatandIgglePiggle · 17/05/2014 00:11

Sorry pretty I'm all out of ideas. Feel like everyone else has amazing sex lives!

OP posts:
MultipleMama · 17/05/2014 00:20

Sometimes I quick spontanteous quickie helps kick start the mood. I use a lot of foreplay to get DH's attention when he's distracted by a book or his laptop. He gives in soon enough Grin.

We usually have a good sex life and it's pretty random no routine but we experiment a lot. However, this passed week has just drained us both, even though we are both up for it we just hardly have the energy. I may surprise him with a rimjob tomorrow - see if that kick starts it for us! Grin

Lijah · 17/05/2014 02:35

I wouldn't worry about it tbh. I've been with my dp for years and we often go through "dry spells" when we first got together we had wild passionate sex all the time and the first time it fizzled out I did feel rather insecure about it but then I realised that we do still share intimacy without sex. For example we always have a cuddle on the sofa in the evenings, he is my best friend and always tells me I'm beautiful. We both have hectic jobs and sometimes I just look forward to Saturday night so I can have a good old sleep! I love him to bits and the sex always feels better after a break from it anyway. I think people put way to much emphasis on sex in a relationship, I agree that it's important but I've always found if it's constant, for example a few times a week every week for years I get bored of it and it turns into another boring routine. Sometimes I prefer to spend a bit of "me time" with my laptop and battery operated friend!

fairylightsintheloft · 17/05/2014 07:11

DH and I don't do it very often but when we do its most often not in our bedroom. that's where we go to collapse with exhaustion - how about trying to turn an in-front of the TV cuddle into something more? We have a spare room with a made-up double bed so one of us will sometimes drag the other one in there. If we go up to our own bed even with the intention of doing it, it rarely happens.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 17/05/2014 09:50

Which one is the cum face thread?

KissesBreakingWave · 17/05/2014 10:22

The thread title made me imagine a whole profession of sex choreographers, and rehearsing your sex in a mirrored studio with legwarmers on. I think I need a new imagination, the one I have clearly has something wrong with it.

MadeMan · 17/05/2014 12:14

Does washing my bits in the sink afterwards count as a routine?

KissesBreakingWave · 17/05/2014 12:20

Only if you do it in a mirrored studio with legwarmers on.

MultipleMama · 17/05/2014 14:22

And only if you a penis beaker.

Original poster
BobPatandIgglePiggle · 17/05/2014 21:03

mademan so long as it's every time it's routine ;-)

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 27/07/2014 19:58

We have several routines. These are options but can be mixed and matched as preferred.

  1. DH - Lu do you fancy a shag? (Or some similarly romantic approach)
2 DH or Me - start a cuddle and a kiss - anywhere in the house- where the kisses get passionate and hands start to wander. Option 1 then is usually said.
  1. In bed, a cuddle and a chat turn into a bit of a kiss and a fiddle. Return to Option 1.
  2. DH stands behind me at the sink and cuddles up then starts undoing/ lifting up/ pulling down clothing. Return to Option 1.
5 Middle of the night or early morning spoons cuddle turns into sleepy sex.
  1. DH begs. I give in.
  2. I plead.He gives in.
  3. He has a couple of drinks and gets his sexy, determined look and I get excited.
  4. He gets in the shower or bath with me. Return to Option 1.
10. DH puts his 'lucky pants' on and tells me he has. Return to Option 1. 11. I kiss him and start removing his clothes wherever we are in the house. Return to Option 1
New posts on this thread. Refresh page