Separated but nothings changed.

[blueeyedmonster]

I'm so frustrated. I've been advised not to move out. He remains here too. Still being spoken to like crap. If I wanted this still I wouldn't have broken up with him. But I don't. I really don't like him and there's no chance of going back.

To be fair I can't see how the technicality of being separated could really change anything. Your not really separated if your still living together. Can you move out?

If I could I would have when I called time on the relationship.

It's a tricky situation then. I don't envy you and I'm sorry for your situation. I've just separated from my wife but fortunately she moved out.

You may need to get some advice on housing as there are associations to help people when there is no money available to rent a seperate property. However, if he is being abusive you could likely have him removed from the property?

What's the blockage? Waiting for a house sale?

Thanks aday I am trying to sort my options now. Housing won't help unless I can convince them it's intolerable here. Even then I may be put somewhere miles away which can't be an option.

Honestly cogito ? The blockage is him. I can't even get a proper conversation about what we will do from here.

You said you were advised to stay in the home. Have you seen a solicitor? Is the divorce process off and running?

sorry you are in this situation. It sounds unbearable. Do you have dc?

I'm in the same boat, it's a nightmare

Yes I've seen a solicitor. We're not married. Yes we have dc.

Oh PPaka I'm sorry you are in this situation too. It's not nice.

And why were you advised to stay in the home? What do you stand to lose exactly if you leave? Is the house owned, co-owned, rented?

Co-owned. Apparently if I leave I lose rights or something. It would out me in a word position than I am in.

Put = out

If you are being spoken to like crap by him the children will hear it, see your reaction and pick up on all this as well. You already know this.

If he refuses to move out (btw this is a common tactic used by abusive men as well; its one of the last remaining bits of power and control over you he can use) then you will need to employ legal means to get him out. He is not above the law. I daresay he has also been abusive to you throughout this whole sorry episode and relationship as well.

Did the Solicitor you saw advise you to remain within the property?. What rights would you lose. If the property is mortgaged jointly he may well decide to stop paying his portion of the repayment. In the meantime by being in the same home you and by turn the children are still unfortunate witnesses to all this nonsense from him.

I would also speak to Womens Aid about your situation as well on 0808 2000 247.

Atilla yes everything you said is right.

I have tried to get legal aid but they said I'm not eligible. That means I need to pay so am trying to sort finances so I can get a letter sent to him. Next step is a court order. It's all so expensive though. I have no idea how I am going to afford it.

Yes solicitor told me to stay put, and crisis centre.

I'm taking the children out as much as possible so none of us are subject to his crap.

I'll call womens aid thank you.

I think it would only put you in a worse position if you'd been hoping to stay in the house afterwards. If your ex is not cooperating you may have to write the house off as a casualty, tell your solicitor to force a sale and start fresh.