Male perspective needed

[Helpmethinkstraight]

I have NC for this.

I have met someone from a company that my office has just started doing business with. We have established a jokey, teasing relationship and other than our banter talk mainly about work with a little bit about our families. He has two teenage children and talks about his Ex but doesn't seem to have a current partner. He knows that I am married but I have not discussed my husband or my marriage with him.

I REALLY like him and have a pretty dead marriage and only speak half a dozen words each day to husband.

I don't need to be judged or flamed but I do like this guy and I think that there is a connection. So my question for the men out there or those of you more experienced with this than me, is if he does like me will he make a move and how will I know if he likes me? Sorry that's two questions!

you are certainly sounding a bit teenage crush after just FOUR weeks!

Just sort out your current situation and move on then.

If he pulls your pigtails, you are IN!

(also not a guy but still sticking my oar in!)

Would a man want a long-term relationship with a woman who cheats on her hsuband? Does the term 'When a man marries his msitress, he creates a vacancy' not apply to women to?

Get to know a bit more about him and in the meantime, sort out your separation.

If he makes a move on you, knowing you're MARRIED with CHILDREN the one thing you CAN be sure of is he is a pretty despicable man already, if he's prepared to wreck the lives of two families.

Leave him alone. You are married.

Thanks for everyone's words of wisdom. I clearly have a lot to think about and think I am probably romanticising things with the other guy. Other than him being friendly and jokey I don't have a lot to go on. I don't even know what flirting looks like these days!

I may have a conversation with him and say that I like him so that I get it out my system and can move on from these stupid thoughts and concentrate on what I need to be sorting out.

Oh dear god don't do that! The last thing you should do is tell him you like him- it will come across as sad and desperate and he will either see you as an easy lay or someone to avoid and it will make things awkward.

Stop daydreaming and sort your life out.

I'd second that. Don't tell him how you feel. It's too early for a start and especially as you're married.

I think some of the responses have been harsh but agree that you should really sort out your marriage first. Any man worth staying with would rather you started out with a clean slate.

Yes please dont tell him -
You do not want to ruin things on a professional level. Keep things professional, carry on as normal. Sort your marraige out.

You should definitely tell him you like him...better he knows you aren't in the right frame of mind from the start.

I'm sure he will be very flattered that you are thinking about leaving your husband for him after getting to know him so well...over the phone...over 4 weeks

I'm not a male btw but my human perspective is that you should be more bothered about making your husband feel like an idiot, than worrying about you looking like an idiot.

Your posts are so cringy!

Have some common decency and leave your husband and end your marriage. I don't care how dead it is, it's just the decent thing to do to leave before even contemplating asking someone else out.

Presumably if you show signs of interest and he knocks you back, you'll just carry on in your dead marriage until the next guy comes along.

Grow some (hypothetical) bollocks.

How about, tell the man you've fallen for him and want a casual relationship and see how things work out.

And then in a couple of months, post back with a post like "Had a silly affair and now my life is a mess - my DH has found out and wants to separate and the OM is out of the picture, made worse by the fact I have to work along side him"

What would her reaction be if it was the other way round?

You can drop the hint that you're available for a new relationship when you talk about how it's going for you since separating from your husband. If he's interested he'll know that you're now single, he might feel that he should wait a while if he's a decent sort and has any self respect, so he doesn't just get the rebound shag, and then you can both live happily ever after, or he can wish you well for the future as you move on and try to find happiness in yourself instead of getting it from a man.

I don't wish to sound harsh, but I've been where you are, fantasising about a man while my marriage was a wreck. I left my ex, went on.a date with om, snogged his face off, got a bit overly invested and when it all dies down I realised he was soooo not the right man for me, he was a convenient distraction who reminded me what I wanted to feel and rekindled my libido.

Use the fantasy to spur you on to search for something better, but don't think that this man will necessarily provide it.

Thank you everyone for the kick up the arse that I needed to grow up and sort my life out. Involving anyone else at this point would be stupid I know that. I think my fantasies took over for a few days. My Husband deserves better.

As a man, what ever state your relationship is with your husband. Don't do anything with this man.

If you want to leave your husband, then do so. but not for the other man, but for you.

It is unfair in your husband. If you do something and then your husband finds out and wants to sort your relationship, it will make it so hard if you then decide to stay.

if you could sort your relationship with your husband, would you want to. Have some respect for him. if you don't want to sort it, then leave him. get yourself sorted and then pursue the new bloke. Who by the way, seems like an utter c#@t as he knows you are married. Hes only thinking with his dick and doesn't have respect for you. See what he does when you tell him your leaving your husband for him. I think he'll run a mile.