I'm 44, and I've wasted 10 years on H

[PPaka]

I did love him, but it's been a nightmare for the last 5 years. He's a pathological liar
I'm trying hard to be positive
But I just feel so cheated
I'm a good person, friendly open and loving

I am never going to have another relationship, the thought makes me want to vomit

How did I fuck it all up?

Now you know what you know, the 10 years is only a waste if you stay with him and it becomes 15 or 20 years. Otherwise it is a lesson learned and a chance to build a new life with your DS. I'm 3 months further on than you and can honestly say that making him leave was the best decision of my life. Hard, yes but completely and utterly worth it. Find a way to work out the financial side of it, go through with it and never look back. You will honestly feel like a the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders.

Ok...so him moving out will be the first step, yes?

Just stay focused. Try as hard as you can to be positive. Once he's moved out you can start moving on, getting over him, working on YOU.

Divorce can be something you tackle further down the road.

You're only 44, there's so much life left to enjoy. Yes, it's a blip but a few years from now you'll feel happy again and look back on this as a low patch.

I am not staying with him, there's no doubt there
I'm very happy with the decision I've made
I know I just need to get through it, but there's not much light at the end of the tunnel
I said that if he hadn't left by July, I would move back into my flat, but he wouldn't pay for that, it's extra money.
Whereas he is paying the bills here
Solicitor also said stay put, mortgage is same per month on flat And house

I think I know how you feel. I left my abusive ex a couple of months ago, after 9 years together. It was only after leaving him that I discovered he was a compulsive liar too.

I'm now 58 years old. No income, no job, no pension. Bit old for starting again, but I'm trying to look at it as a new opportunity. And already enjoying just being on my own.

We've both wasted years, but we have time left to sort ourselves out, just takes a bit of courage. And you've taken that first step. Good luck, and stay strong.