What do I say to him?

[Skivvysue]

My OH is a great daddy and partner. He does treat me well and I'm very happy in this relationship. However. This week he is under massive pressure in work and I feel a bit like he's taking it out on me. Being snappy and a bit passive aggressive at times. We r supposed to go to a family event at the weekend which we aren't going to now cos he thinks it's too much hassle. If I try to spa those with him re the stress he gets stroppy so my question to u all is what do I say to him? Do I just suck it up and accept his behaviour and hope the stress lets up soon? Or do I pull him on it?

He really shouldn't be taking out work stress on anyone. Has it been only this week?

What I would say to him is the following....

"Whatever pressure you are experiencing at work, however stressed you are, leave it at the front door because you are emphatically not entitled to take out your frustration on me or the rest of the family. I will be going to the family event with the children with or without you"

Never 'suck it up' when someone is behaving badly.

Yes it is only this week really with the stress.......well only this week that I noticed. I have been busy too.

Can't you go without him?

And, no, don't put up with it. You deserve to be treated with respect at all times.
He needs to get rid of the stress or the bad mood before he goes near you.

I'm not worried about the family thing cos I he's stressed I get that he can't be doing with that. I just wasn't sure if I should add to the stress by nagging that I feel badly treated. Like that's all he needs now IYSWIM

Tell him to leave his work at the door step, and it stays there.

If it is just a week and not aggressive or anything, just grumpy - I'd leave him to it but let him know you've noticed. I'd say something like "I can see you're stressed about work so I won't bother you..." and/or "I totally understand why you are stressed and I know I would be too if I was you - I'm feeling the effects of it too in that you seem a bit short with me and think we should talk it through properly if it affects our home life much longer..." then leave it there. I'd basically want to say "I can handle a snappy week from you but don't assume you can carry on being grumpy indefinitely and expect me to suck it up...".

Don't 'nag'... state it once over, very firmly, that you will not be snapped at (or whatever it is passive aggressive looks like) in your own home and that 'stress at work' will not be accepted as an excuse.

As a loving partner in a time of stress, you can provide support, sympathy, practical help, create a relaxing environment, etc... but that's as far as it goes. Being his metaphorical punch-bag is not part of the deal