Compartmentalising

[Horsemad]

Is it a male or female trait and is it a good thing or bad?

I believe compartmentalising is a defence mechanism. (Please someone correct me if I am wrong).
I cant see how gender plays a role, it would be interesting to find out though.

I definitely do this (and somewhat disassociate to a certain degree) as a coping mechanism. Im female

I've come to realise that I do this too. I also had a male friend who taught me this method also which I thought was surprising actually. I have come to realise that it is not actually that good because it means I do not feel life and feel each moment as well.

If you do this a lot, then you may "check out" of life. You may also start to disassociate too, and become too fearful of being you.

I've just looked this up on Wikipedia and am not all that clear of what it means.

Is it just trying to look at things in black and white, without any grey areas?

I do this! What I mean by this is that I keep papers of my life separate from others. Certain groups of friends will not meet other groups of friends. When I have to (occasions) I get the fear!

Oh I'm female by the way.

Do we all have different interpretations?

Curious to see which way this thread goes. I don't know much about it but I believe this is what exp does in order to not feel he did anything wrong leaving me pregnant and also to stop him forming an emotional bond with dd. A friend of mine said he might be compartmentalising and I'd like to understand more about it.

Of course compartmentalizing or not, no excuse for him being a nob

compartmentalising can be good and bad, and is as prevalent in males as females.

Think of a doctor/nurse in an emergency department seeing horrific injuries and accidents day in and day out. They have to compartmentalise to survive. So in those kind of circumstances it's not only healthy but necessary. It can of course be a bad thing too if it's used to avoid necessary feelings.

I keep my work life and home life fairly separate Rummi so if that's compartmentalising then I guess I do that, although I thought it was natural for most people to have separate work lives and home lives though.

I do this too. With most elements of my life. I don't think too much about work after I've left even though my predecessor used to go home crying.

In relationships I can sleep with someone and enjoy the experience yet not think about them again.

I am pretty stable in my emotions, I don't feel big highs or lows except if something major happens. Even then I seem to put it to one side and carry on.

I'm female too

I do it too, everything separate: work/home/friends. No big secrets, everyone knows about everyone else, I just prefer it that way. Never take DH to work nights out (rarely go myself, tbh).

I do envy those friends of mine that mix up their friendship groups. I think it makes for a more satisfying life.

Mademan I think separating of work and home life is a good version of compartmentalising. Whereas I will for eg have 3 different birthday things to do as I won't have one where all my friends and family are invited. Guess that's good in one way!

I think there are possibly different versions of myself. Certainly when I was younger, less so now I am getting older and i am making more of an effort to mix friends. Partly for me it's also worry that different friends won't get on and that's a reflection of me.

At my BIL's workplace, everyone is either married to a work colleague or dating one. Well, not everyone, but a large proportion are. It's all a bit like 'Friends' and is a lovely whirlwind of social get togethers etc, until a couple splits up (hasn't happened that frequently). Then it's awkward!

I'd rather keep it separate, I think!