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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Letting a friendship go

6 replies

Meery · 15/05/2014 09:30

My DD is in her final term at the village primary school. Throughout her time there she has established a good group of friends which has spilt over into us forming good friendships with the other parents. The usual stuff, going round houses after school, sleepovers, days out, childcare favours and lifts for each others children, dads going down the pub, mums going down the pub, barbeques etc.

Of late Ive noticed a coolness from one of the other mums, the one I would have said I was closest to, which seems to be affecting our families relationships with the rest of the group. Easy to say I know, but I cannot put my finger on why, how or when this happened, its just that now when we see each other she seems to go out of her way to avoid talking to me. Things like I could walk up to her in the playground and she would turn her back to me or dash off to do something else.

Things have got to me a little this week. Last Sunday we were at an event in the morning with several of the friends and had a great time catching up on all the gossip (although close mum was being off). After the event, the others went round to one of their houses for a barbeque, we went home. Tonight there is another barbeque, again we are not invited.

Now I do understand that friendships change and do drift but I am really saddened that this seems to be happening before the natural break of the end of school. Is there anything I can do to get things back as they were so my DD final few weeks at that school is remembered for the right reasons or should I just let it go?

OP posts:
RedRoom · 15/05/2014 09:37

The only way to know for sure it to ask her outright if you have done something to upset her.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 15/05/2014 09:41

Sounds like you're being wendied.

Sunnyfeet · 15/05/2014 09:59

Yes, i thought about the Wendy thing too. In which case this needs nipping in the bud ASAP.

Meery · 15/05/2014 10:31

Redroom you are quite right - I should just ask. I am not confident enough to say something outright though (seems pathetic I know) but I can keep chipping away when we are together to see whether she warms up at all. I feel though, on reflecting back over our interactions over the past few months that this is not something I have, or have not, done recently so it is unlikely that (imo) she would admit to anything. Scared to make things worse.

As regards to Wendying, I thought that only happened when some one new came along? We've all been together for 5 years or so.

OP posts:
CeliaFate · 15/05/2014 10:52

Is your dd going to a different secondary school to the others? Have the girls fallen out and the Mum thinks you're aware of it?

You just have to ask her I think.
Ring her up and invite her round for coffee, say it's because you've missed chatting to her lately.

Meery · 15/05/2014 12:26

No they are all off to the same secondary school, so (apart from the fact I enjoy their company) I am keen to keep a relationship going for mutual support.

I do not think that the girls have fallen out badly, though we do get the standard Yr6 niggles. My friends daughter though is quite a strong character (you could almost say Queen Bee in the making) and it may be that she has an issue with my DD that is spilling over outside of school i.e. if she said to her parents I dont want Meery's family to come, they would respect that wish of hers.

I will invite her for a cuppa - it'll be quite telling as to whether she accepts or not!

OP posts:
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