Am I going mad? Been on meds since going through bankruptsy :(

[Scruffyhound]

I will try to keep this short.

1. I live with my partner in his house.
2. My house was rented making a loss all the time.
3. As from April this year I went bankrupt.

Im on medication from the doctors for anxiety, suicidal thought, panic attacks and depression. I only take these drugs as I feel this way when due on my period. But I think this whole bankruptsy thing is really doing my head in. I had a choice before Dec last year to try and get a job and move back into my house split the family up I have 2 boys one with my ex husband and one with my partner. My eldest son is doing really well at school and did not want to move back. And my youngest is happy here. I did try and get a job so I could move back but I was not sucessful with both interviews. Time was running out. I had to make a decission. I handed the keys back in to the bank in Jan this year. I was so sad. I used money from the divorce to buy the house then the market took a nose dive. Im trying to deal with it but Im very stressed about it.

The problem.is I have given up everything and I mean everything to keep us all together. But my partner has been not so supportive really. Hes not really helped me with anything even though I have fell apart a few times. And this week hes not even spoke to me that much. Hes been playing on his x box 1. I have been doing the mundane things on my own. I love my boys they are my beauts. I just feel well let down. I told him tonight I will get food shopping this week. It will leave me with 4 in my account. He said oh I will get it then. As if its a big ask. I feel hurt and let down. We have not been intimate for a few months now and even if he gives me a hug I just feel like Im a MUG and then feel angry at him. I cant return the affection. I know I need to just get over it. But hes not helping really. All my family are a few hours away. I guess Im wondering if anyone else feels like this if they have been through it?

You're clearly experiencing a lot of stress, have had a lot of bad luck, and the home environment sounds strained. I think you're feeling extremely vulnerable and that you've been forced into making some 'rock and a hard place' bad decisions out of necessity rather than because it's what you wanted. In short, even though you are battling to hold it all together, you don't feel at all in control of your own life. That kind of powerlessness is very distressing.

Your partner's behaviour is a concern but, being charitable, it can be very disturbing living with someone who is going through acute stress, depression and anxiety. Not everyone knows how best to react and it sounds as though there's a kind of resentful stand-off in place at the moment. Have you spoken to him properly about what's going on? Have you articulated to him what he could specifically do to help? Is there any sense that he feels you've foisted yourself on him... was he enthusiastic about the house move?