Moving in with Girlfriend

[CiderLover]

So, my girlfriend and I have decided to take the step and move in after 1 year of dating.

Any advice on any things that should be discussed? We have discussed finances and joint accounts but is there anything else I need to do to prepare us?

Is it normal that I occasionally get moments of panic about us moving in?!

Personally I think moving in together after one year is ridiculously soon but each to their own I guess. Finances and housework should be top of the list.

Me and dp have a joint account only for bills and anything left over goes to something for the house or ds, if either of you get Tax credits or any other benefits you need to contact them straight away.
I would also make a plan of what both of you's pay each month so there's no confusion when the bills start coming out.
Other than the financial things enjoy it.

I forgot to mention me and dp moved in together 3 months after we met and are still together 4 years later, we don't go to sleep on disagreements and we talk everything threw.

Cookie As with everything there will always be exceptions.

I hope if you've discussed finances and joint-accounts you've decided that being financially-linked after only one year together while unmarried is potentially a very risky thing to be doing.

By moving in together do you mean you moving into her place, she moving in with you or renting somewhere new in both of your names?

I would also not go the joint account route until you've had chance to see each other's attitude to spending/saving in practice. Definitely discuss financial contributions and approach to domestic chores etc but also make sure you set up regular review meetings, for want of a better phrase. It's like any other project.... you can only anticipate so much but things can and will go wrong along the way. If you agree to regularly revisit how things are going you can avoid a lot of problems.

New place.

So joint account is not a good idea? I know she is very good with money, never has credit. Whereas I am not so good with cash.

Each to their own Cookie but thank you for your input :)

I don't think a joint account is your top priority, especially if finances aren't your strong point. Have some ideas of your own how you are going to make sure you meet shared spending commitments and stay in control because that is the responsible approach and shows a positive intent.

No, a joint-account is not a good idea in my opinion. Some married couples don't even have them. Being financially-linked to another person entails risk. In your case, if you're "not so good with cash" it will be your girlfriend taking the risks.

You're aware of what happens when you sign a joint tenancy agreement if you later split up , aren't you? My advice would be not to tie yourselves into a 12 month legally-binding agreement when you've never lived together before.

I would actually advise a joint account. Decide on a fair contribution into it from each - this may vary given different salaries, or you might want to go exactly halves on it.

Then agree what will come out of the joint account - e.g. rent/mortgage, all household bills, food shopping, items bought for the house - e.g. furniture.

A joint account restricted only to household expenditure actually avoids arguments in the long term.

Discuss how long you will live together before you get married.
That changes the dynamics of living together.

Get a joint account.
I speak for bitter, current, experience here.
The fact I am financially tied to my ex with a mortgage but have no joint account, means I can't do anything now without going to court to get it sorted as he is a total an utter CUNT!!!
And breathe........

But hells, if you had a joint account with him and he wanted to be difficult, he'd just tell the bank that it required two signatures before they can agree to any transactions. Then you're really stuffed...

Discuss whether you want this to lead to marriage and how long you will wait.

Your views on having children and what you will do if one of you wants them and the other doesn't.

Housework!

Clear expectations of who does what and how often.

What you will spend your spare cash on, whose is it, are you keeping your own finances and spending your money on what you want or on household items etc.

What your ideas are regarding going out.
Do you both agree on spending the same amount of time with friends?

It's really complex and I very rarely write threads and this one would be soooo long no-one would stand it.

Ohh yeah - agree about the kids thing. That's really important.

So many threads on here about disagreement with that.

As you are 'not so good with cash' then I suggest you get financial plan in place for savings etc....

The biggest thing to discuss, bar none, is how you will maintain a loving and caring relationship in the face of issues that living together will show up. How will you resolve any conflicts (there will be some)...set time aside for the maintenance of your relationship, date nights etc, what you are both going to do to to help the relationship. Practical stuff like fin aces and household chores will only be resolved when the relationship is good, otherwise it leads to petty niggles, resentment etc etc. Get the emotional stuff in place and it will be easier to maintain the practical elements of living together. And realise that it takes effort to think of the persons needs in front of your own. If she does the same you're onto a winner.