Staying with dp not because I'm happy but i don't want to hurt him.

[Jellybellymummyofsix]

I'm going out of mind with stress. I know i have PND again. Baby is 3 months old. Dc are 5, 9 &12.

Ds9 has ASD. Verbal child but severe behaviour issues. Got told on Monday by the Educational psychologist very likely Ds5 also has ASD. Being referred to the CDC for assessment.

Massive financial problems due to a sudden change no one could have predicted. But dp has handled it all badly & I've taken my eye of the ball...its all come to s head this week. Our home, income etc is at risk.

Dp & I have been together 18 years. He absolutely useless. I love him but I've always carried him. He's totally unsupportive- he's not capable of giving support so with draws into his shell.

Normally I just get on with it but right now, I'm not able to. I can't stop crying. The anxiety is hideous. I feel like a jibering wreck. I actually think I'm having some sort of break down.

I need him to go but I'm worried about him. He's a 45 yr old man that's never lived by himself. He's quite lazy. He lived with partners or his mum all his life. He can't go to his mum's anymore so he'd be on his own. I'm angry that i need help but he won't or can't give it to me. Yet I'm worried about him! I don't want to be responsible for him.

I don't know why I'm posting really maybe i just need to make sense of it all but my brain won't work propley anymore through exhaustion, depression & stress!

You may be worried about him but is he at all worried about you? You need moral, practical and emotional support urgently and, if he's letting you down yet again, he's just another source of stress you don't need. Having said that, I think it's probably too much to try dealing with him on top of everything else at the moment. Park him in 'pending' and get yourself some RL help. Do you have any friends or family you can call on?

Your husband does sound completely useless. However, you would be surprised at how well a 'useless' person copes when they have to and they realise that the person who's been putting up with them has had enough. He'd learn quickly enough, I've seen it before: it can be pretty infuriating to witness because you realise that they could have done more all along but just chose not to. I'd stop worrying about him for now because you really need to take care of yourself and it doesn't sound like you're going to get much help from him. I would visit your GP pronto about the anxiety and see what help and support they can offer. It's urgent that you talk to someone about what's going on and how you're feeling.

Tried calling gp first thing but had t take dc to school soccouldn't hold any longer.

No one to talk to about this so I posted here. No help with the dc. I do it all. I kept saying to him but he had his own issues...

I know i need to put the dc first. Oh it's all too much. I need to go shopping but I'm sitting in the car crying...

Why the hell did I have another dc?
I should have got rid of dp 9 years ago...
I want someone to "fix' it all for me...I can't do it anymore.

OK take some long slow deep breaths - can you call the GP again now or even pop in there?

You need to put yourself first at the moment. Do call your GP and ask them to see you urgently. A house call if you can't get to the surgery with the baby. You are an emergency case. Tell him to get the shopping... I assume he's not so useless that he can't push a trolley.... and then do whatever you need to do to stay calm until the GP can get to you.