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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fresh start? pleeease..

12 replies

Shiraz · 29/08/2006 21:36

How did you make the break??

Any regrets??

Happy??

On your way there??

I've always THOUGHT i'd loved my dp!!

He's 19 years older than i....was my boss when i met him..was so so so so nice then!!

I fell pg, and his work shite on him (for which we awaiting a dispensary too hear how much he is to be compensated)).

Thin is i have not been happy for a quite a qhile. I went back to work last Nov and since then have supported this household completely.

Sp scared as we are now in lost of debt apart from his marital debt which i am having to pay off as he is out of work.

Not being close to my parents and drifting from friends i have no-one....my mother expects atleast ?200 from em on thurs.......that dp borrowed..wheh he knows i cannot afford it.

What do i di..we live in the middle of nowhere i cannot drive to work and i am so alone..have no one to speak to about it help.............

I would love my own live...i'm now so scared..and sick of pretending is business that we are seting up is what i want..

am i brave enough to opt out? And who will support me??

I'm 24 with nothing but my BEAUTIFUL dd.... xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Shiraz · 29/08/2006 21:38

Gawd so sorry for typos....a bottle of red from work and no light on......sick of kidding myself.

Nowhere to go...no family or friends.... what do i do??

OP posts:
joanna4 · 29/08/2006 21:54

I know the debt is most important and it is obviously dragging you down but this aside what is making you want to be leaving your dp.Aside from him being out of work you say you have not been happy for a while any other reason besides the debt for this.I bet you are thinkiing nosey cow but i am trying to get a clear picture of what is going on.
If you do not want to set up business you should say that is how you feel are things beynd the point of negotiation.
How old is your wee girl.

joanna4 · 29/08/2006 21:56

Oh yeah and a bender on the wine wont solve anything either just makes things fuzzier next day

Original poster
Shiraz · 29/08/2006 22:01

She's 2.5...he works in a speciaist busines which means he has the knowledge and know how around here...we cannot afford childcare AND two jobs.....

He's becomea nasty ASS and we have nothing in common anymore....AT ALL!

I've been saying this for ages - but then pretending all is fine...but what do i do???

OP posts:
Original poster
Shiraz · 29/08/2006 22:02

knowledge adn know-how apart from his two ex emplyers give hm shite4 ref's and he canot get a job

to be honest i want out - i know it will be hard - but i cannot go on...........

OP posts:
joanna4 · 29/08/2006 22:09

You can afford childcare why not look into it I think the government may pay up to 80 per cent of child care costs-not sure of terms or owt as I have never uneeded to use it myself.
when you say there is no one is there really no one family or friend who could provide a listening ear in the real world.Does your dp know that you feel this way about him.
I understand what you are saying about specialist business and knowledge but if the option to use this isnt about then it maybe that he will have to look further afield for a job to put him on.My bil is the same but he has taken a job that he is unfamilier with cos his family need the money end of.

joanna4 · 29/08/2006 22:12

For what it is worth going back to your original post my soon to be husband cheated on me with someone else,we were a week off being married but we had no children.It takes real guts to walk away from a bad situation but i made myself a better life- now I have a lovely husband and 2 lovely children i thank god every day for what i have now so sometimes it pays to put you first.

Original poster
Shiraz · 29/08/2006 22:27

Nope..VERY BAD RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS - and no friedns i can just ring for a chat - all have own proba dn have moved

DP's job - well he knows nothing else - people are not interested in a manager who cannot get a job in his own field - business a good idea and he WILL makea success - BUT we are no longer in love and we just shout at each other.

I cry myslef to sleeoa dn want to escape

had a shite childhood

am 25 next Apr and would love to be a bit more stable and Happy.......

not likely though

OP posts:
Original poster
Shiraz · 29/08/2006 22:27

Nope..VERY BAD RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS - and no friedns i can just ring for a chat - all have own proba dn have moved

DP's job - well he knows nothing else - people are not interested in a manager who cannot get a job in his own field - business a good idea and he WILL makea success - BUT we are no longer in love and we just shout at each other.

I cry myslef to sleeoa dn want to escape

had a shite childhood

am 25 next Apr and would love to be a bit more stable and Happy.......

not likely though

OP posts:
joanna4 · 29/08/2006 22:34

Ok so all your friends of old have moved on it sounds like its time for you to make a new build too.Your little girl is perfect mums and tots age is there anywhere like a parents group where you could go give yourself some focus I know it is hard when you know nobody but you only have to walk in for the first time once.It might give you some focus and everyone needs friends.Things cannot be so bad with your parents after all they have lent money i presume to sort things out.Maybe they are angry with you because you can make so much more of yourself if it was your daughter wouldnt you be.

joanna4 · 29/08/2006 23:01

Hope all is ok you have gone really quiet.

SpanielEars · 30/08/2006 09:17

just read this message and it seems Shiraz that you are in a real state. how are you feeling today?

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