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Relationships

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Need some advice to get a bit of perspective on this relationship�

4 replies

ChickOnaMission · 13/05/2014 12:09

Ive been seeing this guy I met online since January. Im 35 just out of a 10 year marriage, dont want a proper relationship, dont want to introduce someone to my two kids, Ive been very happy with what Im doing with this guy which is basically he comes to my house when the kids are at their dads, we have wonderful sex all night, then he leaves the next day. We text every couple of days, and see each other once a week/fortnight I cant imagine ever introducing him to the kids, I dont want to meet his mates, go out for couply meals etc, Im just happy with having very nice sex. Also hes 28, lives at home, has been very clear that hes a bit freaked out that I have kids. I know that Im never going to have a serious relationship with him, but after being married for ages I really dont want one.

But, I think about him a lot, I do really like him and I got drunk last time we met and told him that it was more than just sex for me and I really liked him, he just went quiet and came up with something very non committal about caring about me it was a bit awkward and I changed the subject and didnt mention it again.. I cant work out if hes just a man who cant talk about his feelings, or am I deluded and hes clearly only interested in the sex, would it be a bad idea to have an exclusivity talk with him will I just scare him off, one day I think I should just end it before I get hurt and other times I think I need to have a proper conversation about where its going, but without freaking him out and being all needy. What shall I do??

OP posts:
ChickOnaMission · 13/05/2014 12:12

oh bugger, why has it come out like that!? note to self, don't copy and paste from word!

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/05/2014 12:16

You recruited him on the basis of it being a pretty casual 'FWB' type sex only relationship and that's exactly what he signed up for. He's not a man who can't talk about his feelings, he's a rather immature 28 year-old (kids 'freak him out'?) who is getting sex on tap and that'll do nicely. If you're changing the parameters and wanting to make this a grown-up relationship you've got to anticipate that he'll say 'no thanks'.

Jan45 · 13/05/2014 12:19

He just went quiet - because he only wants sex with you, he clearly does not want a relationship. If you want to be more than just a sex toy then move on or at least look for someone who is capable of having a relationship.

ChickOnaMission · 13/05/2014 12:23

I think I know really, I guess I'm annoyed with myself for developing feelings for him, I think I need to pluck up the courage to just ask him directly and be prepared to be let down..

OP posts:
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