Hi, I posted a few days ago about my partner wanting me to leave his house, but stay together.
Brief recap; we have only been together for two months but had already talked about moving in together, which was his suggestion. He seemed really keen and planning the future, then I went to stay the weekend with my three children and we argued loads, due to stress on my part caused by other issues I was having to deal with at the time. He said it might be better not to move in together just yet, I agreed, and then my ex attacked me one night at home and when I told my partner as I was really shaken up, he said he would pick us up that night and we would live with him...but if he or I couldn't handle it at any point, I would have to make alternative arrangements.
Anyway.
We have argued a lot...well, bickered with a couple of massive rows thrown in, caused by me and where I said some awful, hurtful things that have stayed with him. He is worried I am using him for somewhere to stay (not true at all) but says he still loves me more than anything, wants to stay together but I need to get my own place so he can have his space, get used to the idea of living together and build our relationship.
We talked last night. We haven't argued for the past couple of days and now his teenage daughter has come to live with him too. She has a few issues and part of the reason for asking me to leave, was so he could dedicate attention to her.
I like his daughter, she copes well with my children and helps look after them (just little things like talking to them if they're playing up, that kind of thing) and I seem to be getting on okay with her. She's a great kid.
When we talked last night, he said "I wanted everything to be perfect but I'm just rubbish. All the feelings I had for you are still there just the same, but the stresses of life get to me and make me say the wrong things".
He also said this situation is hard for him...I've been a single parent for seven years so am used to it, but he isn't and just the constant noise, people around all the time (it's a relatively small house) is difficult for him to handle. He says that even talking to me without children screaming in the background all the time is hard and he wishes he could just do that one small thing.
I asked how he can see me as often as he used to, with my children and now his daughter (who only came to live with him last weekend).
He reckons he can still see me 3-4 times a week and still stay over at my house, but I don't think he can as I have issues with him leaving his 13 year old, home alone while he does those things. Especially overnight.
I asked if he ever saw us living together and he said maybe in 6 months once we have built our relationship more and gets used to the idea of living together with the children and the noise, etc.
But in my mind, he's had two weeks so far to get used to it, and is likely to have a few more weeks of it because I can't move out right away, and he said I can stay until I find somewhere else.
What do you think, do you think that he will ever get used to the noise and having so many people around in order to allow us to live together in the future, or has his experience with us here now ruined our future?