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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Anyone ever used a private investigator?

34 replies

barkinginessex · 12/05/2014 12:51

Sorry this will make me sound nuts but I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Posted on here before under a different name about DP, he cheated last year and I know he is still in contact with OW.
When I confronted him about this he promised the contact will stop and is only texting her because she's upset etc.
He's deleted her from his phone now but he is constantly texting her (can see her number at top of screen and I know it's her number). I don't know his pass code but I'm desperate to look at the texts between them.
Has anyone ever hired a P.I and if so can they access phones etc? I've googled ways to bypass his pass code but no luck yet.
I tried to view them on the iPad but he has locked the access so I can't view them on there, he has also locked his work emails so I suspect he's been emailing her from work too.

OP posts:

mammadiggingdeep · 13/05/2014 11:22

St...you seriously need to tell him to do one. This is death by a 1000 cuts. It's like torture. The pain you must be experiencing now is more than the pain you'd feel if it ended. He's asking for privacy with his phone??? What a totally selfish cunt.

43percentburnt · 13/05/2014 11:43

Maybe offer total privacy, tell him to move out. He can text and email who he wants when he wants.

You too can get on with your life and be happy not worried about whether he is spying again.

43percentburnt · 13/05/2014 11:43

Maybe offer total privacy, tell him to move out. He can text and email who he wants when he wants.

You too can get on with your life and be happy not worried about whether he is spying again.

st273447 · 13/05/2014 18:56

Its good to know other people also think its acceptable.
Its gone on so long I'm almost humouring the lies, but obviously still very upsetting.

I also know that it must end. Thanks all for your support.

st273447 · 13/05/2014 18:57

Sorry typo.. Obviously meant unaccepable.

AnyFucker · 13/05/2014 19:13

Please end it, st. It is more than unacceptable, it is sheer fucking cruelty how he treats you. No one deserves that and no one should be allowed to get away with it. He's just a man not the Fucking Messiah and he needs to be shown his place...which is on the scrapheap of dickheads who can't keep it in their pants. Very sad individual he is, stop letting him drag you down

Wittsend13 · 16/05/2014 22:21

Yes I did, but mine was to spy on ex to see if he was going to work (told court he hadn't worked for years to get out of paying for ds even though he earns 400 a DAY! Wasn't worth my money as I didn't get any evidence or proof the arsehole even went and looked outside his house even though he swears he was sat outside for two days!

Meerka · 16/05/2014 22:39

I gather one of the big problems of PIs is that its a really unregulated field so there's a lot of cowboys in it.

not sure a PI could help with a phone password though. He coudl perhaps follow your husband but a friendly techie would be better for tracking down passwords?

3mum · 16/05/2014 22:42

Sorry in advance if this sounds harsh.

He's stringing you along in case his relationship with OW does not work out (been there got the T shirt). It's standard operating procedure for twunts. Save yourself a ton of pain and pull the plug on him now.

You already know everything you need to know, you just don't want to admit it to yourself.

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