My STBXH moved out 6 months ago, as he thought, temporarily, as he believed I was stressed about other things when the reality I was stressed by him - his drinking, smoking, spending money, lies, texting godknowswho at all hours with secret phone lock and failure to be of any use with children. Now I don't want him back - he has made zero effort to change. My children are 3 and 8. At present they stay with him 2 nights a week. He doesn't get back from work until 715 on average and he wants to have them 3 nights a week a) to reduce he CSA contribution (he denies) and b) because he misses them. I get back from work at 6 and only work 4 days. My 8 yr old rarely wants to go. She is an anxious child who can sometimes be very forceful/upset if things don't go how she wants. But I know they should see him so 2x per week is fine, but I don't want them to go more - he wants our childminder to take them to his house after school until he gets home so they are "settled" as that's apparently why DD doesn't want to go. This is despite the fact I would be at my house from 6 alone and the kids are at his house with the childminder waiting for him to arrive. I've said no several times to this - I've explained it's quality time with a parent that counts and if he wants to arrange to finish early one night a week that would be fine. Last night I got pissed texts from him x10 laying down the law about what was going to happen as of next week. I'm not sure where to go with this now.. Am I being unreasonable? I hate him now (which is more useful to me than the guilt and feeling sorry for him).