Cost of counselling and experiences please

[makeitalargeoneplease]

Hi, stuck in that eternal circle of not knowing whether to carry on. DH feels the same. I think we are so stuck that if DH would agree, that counselling may benefit us. We love each other and want better but just don't seem to be able to turn it round. I think we need help to unpick it all and set us off in a straight line, either together or separate, rather than carry on in this depressing circle that we've been going round in for years. Please could anyone share their experiences of both cost and effectiveness and who for couples counselling i.e. Has relate cornered the market?! Would find the cost hard but would find the money if I thought it would do good. Grateful for any help, thank you.

I've had counselling as an individual twice now after the breakdown of 2 long term relationships.

Counselling helped me immensely both times. I've never had couples counselling (apart from 2 brief sessions with me ex husband) but would do in the future if the need arose. Relate is £50 for an hour, not sure what the cost would be for couples.

I found my counsellors off the counselling directory

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

My DH and I went to Relate many years ago and have just celebrated our 25th anniversary - we both found it very useful & effective, speaking to an independent & unbiased person - it wasn't always easy, we both had to face truths that we might have preferred to avoid but it was worthwhile. It is expensive though, can't comment on current prices.

Good luck.

I got a personal recommendation for a couples therapist (rather than using relate) and she was very very good. I was told to ring around several and talk to them, tell them briefly what the issues are and what you want help with. Get a feel for the person whether you think you click with them etc.

It is incredibly helpful just having someone neutral there and helping you identify what is a typical response and what is someones over sensitive response to what ever issues you have.

Hope that helps.

Check out private couples counsellors on line. There are some around. And speak to them before. I didnt like relate. Seemed to have their own agenda.

Great, thanks for the helpful replies. Am definitely going to look at this, even if I have to go alone. My dh makes me doubt my opinions all the time. That alone is worth going through with someone independent. Thanks.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to ask this as people won't want to give themselves away, so please feel free to ignore if I've messed up, but just wondered if anyone could recommend a counsellor in the Beds, Herts or Bucks area? I will do as people have suggested and talk to a few first but just thought a personal recommendation would be great if possible.

The more I think about it the more I'm hoping he'll say yes to this. We really have gone round in circles for years and need to break this awful pattern. Thanks.

I have had personal therapy. Once free once very expensive analysis £75 in London. It was jungian analysis and I loved it, however I moved away before I could have any proper breK through it did help resolve some issues with my parents.

One danger wuth therapy in my case is that I wanted to please the therapist so much, they often come up with their own pet theories about you and they can become blocks. I would go along with things I did not really agree with because I wanted them to like me and I am a therapists dream because I am open, and self aware and yet all the while I am hiding so much from them.

Therapy is a game like everything else, there is a lot of crap to go through before you get to what really matters but it does work.