Is it over? Hand holding pls

[MissBooBoo]

Been with my partner 9 years. we have a 3yr old & a 9 month old.
Recently at the weekends we spend most of it sniping at one another. Over very minor things. He tells me his past relationships were never like this and he has never met anyone like me, I should respect him because he earns all the money and I should know my role.I should understand he has been working all week and not have to look after the children (while i am cooking or cleaning for him) the last couple of times he has told me i was thick and have no brain in my head infront of my 3 yr old daughter. The constant belittling today has taken its toll. Normally i will answer back and stand up for myself but i feel such a deep sadness after today i just feel like crying and thats not like me.
3 yrs ago he kissed and had an emotional affair with a girl at his work. I caught him and it stopped... this was 2 weeks after i had given birth. iT stopped. Then when my 9 month old was born i found they had started talking again.. they work metres away from eachother. Because of this I dont even want to have sex with him... I literally force myself. Is it over or have similar people got through it? advice pls x

I think you should make it over, whether he agrees or not

That wasn't your question though, was it ?

No matter, that is your solution.

I think you should make it over, whether he agrees or not

That wasn't your question though, was it ?

No matter, that is your solution.

What advice would you give to a friend if they had said the same thing? I cannot see anything redeeming about this relationship. He sounds like an arse.

Sorry for double post

Is there not the slightest chance you can leave the little ones with family for a day or so and have it out with him as to how you feel and how worthless he is making you feel,will he not understand you work all week also looking after his children and house,as to the female at work he would get one chance to sort it out for good or be shown the door.

He sounds bloody awful. When was the last time you felt happy because you were married to him?

Is it over? Well it ought to be. He has no respect for you, sees you as the hired help and by far inferior to him.

Can you tell a friend and get some RL support? You need some right now. Tomorrow you need to organize to speak to a solicitor to see where you might stand if you go it alone (and you should, because he will never change).

Interesting. I just went onto our computer and he has been looking at escort sites. I dont mind him watching porn but you dont look at escort sites to see girls in their underwear.
Thanks for all the advice so far.

If I had a pound for all the OP's that begin "I don't mind him watching porn, but...." I would be a very rich fucker

He belittled you in front of your daughter (significant there, a little girl learning about how men talk to females). He won't 'help' you around the house. He had an emotional affair and kissed somebody 2 weeks after you'd given birth to his first child. He has been looking at escort sites.

You deserve about a million times more than this.

This doesnt sound healthy
I think he feels he owns you instead of being in a partnership.

The minute he uttered the words: you are thick......he'd not get very far apart from outside the front door, never mind his hobby of looking for other women.

The relationship is dead, you're just prolonging the inevitable, in other words, expect more of the same.