Feeling so alone,need to talk

[crazed]

Am away on holiday with my DH and 2 children at MIL and FIL'S.All DH's family have been here for a celebration and am feeling so alone and out of the whole family thing.
I never felt I was excepted into the family when me and DH first married and never felt good enough.
Since being here my MIL constantly tells my ds off and he gets dirty looks across the table from dh's brothers if they feel he is'nt behaving to the correct manner.Dh's sister keeps telliong him not to do things and I am feeling like such a bad mother compared to DH's brothers wives who can do no wrong.
MIL is monitering whatmy ds takes from the fridge, how much he is eating and she limits what he can have.I twell her he is a growing boy and eats a lot at home but she makes me feel like he is being greedy.Only this morning they were'nt alowed an egg each or seconds of rice krispies fgs.
My dh is moaning about them behind there back but today now we are due to go home tomorrow he is saying oh well maybe they are too noisy and they are getting on my nerves so they must be getting on theirs.I just feel so unwelcome for myself and mychildren and am sitting here in tears.My dh justsays control yourself and save it until we get home,so as not to uppset anyone.
What about me and the children being treated like this where is his loyalty to us?

Glad the computer won't be a problem, but I still don't get where dh has gone (and why). Couldn't he have taken the kids with him if you had cooking to do?

My Ds has Sn as well so im even more angry now!

nexttime they try and tell youhow to discipline him bit back with something curt but not rude like "well that is very difficult for him to understand as he has SN" or if its becasue he is being loud and noisey excplain " yes its brilliant isn't it. its been so hard to get him to speak with so many people around...we will have to bring him here more often" bt say it as sarcastically as you can.

that wya they will know you aren't genuine and that you know they are fed up of him but it gets across the point that he is SN.

As everyone else has said, your son is a credit to you and youshould be very proud of him. the fact that youhave been able to holdon for this long shows that far from being "on the edge" you are an incredibly strong woman who has dealt with this horrific situation admirably.

tribpot-He thought it would better if the children stayed at home.

fattiamumma -good idea about the sarcastic remarks.I know my ds is a great little boy but they just don't understand or more like don't want too!!

I'm sure he thought it would be better for him, crazed, noting your earlier comment about a busman's holiday!

yes,tribpot definetly a busmans holiday.

Made a lasange and left the white sauce for DH to do when he got back.
Am now going to bath the children and get an early night and dream of getting back home tomorrow.

Take care crazed, have a safe trip back and hope you are feeling better very soon.

Haven't time to read whole thread but poor you - I have been in the situation before where I have been away from home and felt like an outsider and it is horrible. Good on you for letting your kids eat what they want (as long as it is healthy and they are getting plenty of exercise, why not ffs? Mine eat as much as they need, not sweets and stuff but I'd never refuse them a second boiled egg - protein, iron,... why would you? And how mean!) You sound like a lovely mum and they are the uptight ones. Try and enjoy your kids and your holiday and ignore the petty minded people trying to bring you down.

I understand slightly how you are feeling. We go away every year with my in-laws and sometimes i feel they pick on my ds1. He is only 9 but they seem to think he should behave like a grown up. They seem to moan at him or put him down all the time when we are away yet he isnt naughty he is just acting like other 9yr olds. This year we went to a theme/water park and ds1 hates heights and cant swim very well but instead of encouraging him to try things they seemed to criticise him. When dh took ds2 (then aged 2,5) on a rollercoaster I went mad. He knew i didnt want ds2 going on it yet did it anyway, all through the ride ds looked terrified. When they got off i had a go at dh but all his family stuck up for him saying ds2 had loved it and that if i wasnt careful ds2 would end up a scared squinny like ds1 (he heard them say it). If i could have i would have taken the boys home there and then but we were in Holland at the time and i had no money to get home. I normally get on ok with my in laws but now and again they seem to get it in their heads that they are perfect and if we dont act the way they expect us to then all hell breaks loose.

I dont know why in laws think they can do/say whatever they like to us and get away with it. Its even worse when our dh's dont stick up for us as well.

I hope things work out ok for you. I think you need to make your dh realise how bad you are feeling. It took me telling my dh to leave before he took notice,since then things have improved greatly and he no longer allows his family to butt in on our relationship but if it hadnt changed then i was willing to go it alone. No one needs to put up with what you do. My dh likes his drink too but for the sake of our marriage he has cut right down, he is a totally different man.

Good luck

Hi Crazed - been thinking about you - just wondering how things went last night and how you are doing today? (((hugs)))

crazed - what a bloody nightmare I always feel deliberately left out by the in-laws too. Thankfully I hardly ever see them, but when I do, it always seems to affect my feelings re dh which can go on for ages afterwards. I'm having a shit time too with h, if it's any consolation.

Anyawy, hope you are home and safe now.