This feeling situation

[Bananasandnutella]

In going no contact with a commitment-phobe. I'm actually finding it incredibly easy. I have no urge to call or text and I've not actually wondered what he's up to. I take this to be a good sign!

However when something happens e

Posted too soon...

Meant to add, when something happens to remind me of him I feel sad. But I feel sad that about how I felt when I was with him. As in when we would go out for dinner and laugh etc he made me feel like a truly different person. It's like he swept me up from the boringness of life and made me feel alive. I miss feeling like that.

So can I take that to mean that maybe my feelings were more for how I felt than for him?

But at the same time I feel sad that someone who I had a connection with that I've never experienced before felt that I wasn't enough

What you're experiencing is a kind of relationship hangover. Feels terrific at the time but you know you're going to regret it the morning after ... :) We are all capable of enjoying and even missing things that we know aren't that good for us. Good luck

Sometimes there is pain...... then it becomes light again. You are worth a commitment so settle for no less. Well done with the no contact. Not easy but you will go in and out of emotions, wondering if you did the right thing etc. Keep strong.

I did this - I felt like anyone I met afterwards would always be a bit of a compromise because our connection was so good and we always did such great things together etc. I left him because I was late thirties and wanted children. I did meet someone else and honestly, to be really together with someone without the elephant in the room of 'the future', the intimacy of lying in bed, planning our future, made that previous relationship seem such a sham. I still see him quite often, as friends, and he has lost all his appeal. In fact, he's starting to look a bit sad. Onwards and upwards

Thanks pudding, that gives me hope. I read on baggage reclaim website that a relationship needs progression. There was no progression, no plans for future or anything. The time we spent together was great but when apart my head was so confused!

Yes these for now relationships really mess with your head!

I just wish I hasn't let it go on for so long. I feel like I've wasted so much time thinking he'd commit.

I mean this kindly but there's no use crying over spilt milk. Yes you wasted time but you've put an end to it now and that's important. You'll have learned something from this and you've got a sharper idea what it is you want from a partner... nothing's ever a wasted experience.

Thanks cognito. I've learnt loads and I know what I want now. Deep down I knew it would never end well. But onwards and upwards!