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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help me to stay strong

17 replies

strong123 · 10/05/2014 20:09

Feeling really lonely today - feel like giving in and forgiving everything which has happened so as not to be on my own...I know I need to stay strong but it is so hard sometimes.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 10/05/2014 20:24

Hugs sweetie, youre not alone on here. Do you want to talk about it? Or just a virtual bunch of Flowers and a cuppa Brew? Xx

knowledgeispower · 10/05/2014 20:27

Strong123 I'm not sure what the back story is. Have you posted previously?

Keep posting on here, just getting the kettle on too... Brew

Original poster
strong123 · 10/05/2014 20:32

Thank you for your kind messages - not posted before but have been reading threads for a long time. Not sure where to start but OH left nearly three weeks ago after a number of arguments. I'm not too bad during the week when I'm at work but find the weekends really difficult.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 10/05/2014 20:34

Nice one knowledge ! Mine's a camomile this time of night Smile

daisychain01 · 10/05/2014 20:37

Weekends can feel very empty,I know, strong. Its when there is too much time to think, right?

Do you have DCs? Can you do something nice tomorrow, to break the solitude?

LadyofDunedin · 10/05/2014 20:40

You're not alone! We are all here, keep posting.

I've felt similar this weekend so far. Here all night too! Chat away

Original poster
strong123 · 10/05/2014 20:41

Yes - have a DD who is 16 and a DS who is 10 - trying to put on a brave face for them as DD starts her GCSE exams on Monday and DS has his SATS. They are both going out with their friends tomorrow as I made plans a few weeks ago. Can't talk to my family as we are not very close and they don't know what is happening.

OP posts:
Original poster
strong123 · 10/05/2014 20:43

Sorry to hear you feel the same too Lady....I know I am better off on my own but it doesn't feel like it at the moment

OP posts:
LadyofDunedin · 10/05/2014 21:11

Oh you are better alone. As your username suggests, you're already stronger than you think!

What's bothering you most tonight? Sometimes when I have no plans I feel it ponders on my mind more. I am some way down the line now though, and life has got a lot better!

I am moping as I feel a bit let down by my best friend - but that's another thread!

Can you be priductice and help the DC study etc? May motivate you?

knowledgeispower · 10/05/2014 21:22

Yorkshire tea for me daisychain...I live life on the wild side! Smile

I remember feeling particularly lonely when I split from dds father. Even if you know you are better off alone. I'm moving back down south, just me and dd, in 3 weeks time. I hope you'll join me in a virtual house warming Smile

daisychain01 · 10/05/2014 21:24

It is hard when you have to start explaining "OP not here any more", then having to answer all the questions. Maybe an idea to think up a standard line you can trot out so it just becomes a bit automatic, kinda this is the situation, now I'm moving forwards etc!

Your DD and my DSS are in the same situation, his exams start on Tues!

lady glad life is perking up for you!

Original poster
strong123 · 10/05/2014 21:33

I think I am feeling lonely tonight because we split up because he was spending a lot of time around a friend's house. They were old friends but he would be there 2-3 times a week and would often make excuses about it. We have not spoken properly about it as every conversation seems to end in an argument. However I know he is still in contact with this friend all the time. Not only does he not have the respect to talk things through with me but he is still constantly in contact with her.

Knowledge - glad that you are feeling better - I bet you are looking forward to a new start

OP posts:
JuliaScurr · 10/05/2014 21:40

have you tried Mumsnet local?

bimbobaggins · 10/05/2014 22:16

Stay strong there's a lot of us out here. Sometimes you can fight the big things no bother and it's the tiniest thing that tips you over the edge. That's what happened to me this week but feel stronger for it.

bimbobaggins · 10/05/2014 22:16

Stay strong there's a lot of us out here. Sometimes you can fight the big things no bother and it's the tiniest thing that tips you over the edge. That's what happened to me this week but feel stronger for it.

Original poster
strong123 · 10/05/2014 22:25

Thank you bimbobaggins - it has been a totally crap week with lots of arguments. Yesterday things seemed to be getting better but today it's like we are back to square one and can't speak to each other. I was going to not contact him this weekend but it is hard because of working together

OP posts:
cjelh · 10/05/2014 22:39

I think it is better to sit and cry on your own then have control of what you do after, than live with all the unresolved stuff that him having another woman brings. The hurt does get easier and the lonely saturdays will get less. Tomorrow force yourself to do something you enjoy, A walk,shopping,reading the papers. It will feel forced and odd to start with but then it will be monday and not so hard.

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