Hi, I am (yet again - see previous threads!!), psyching myself up to telling my dh I want us to separate. We've been stuck in the same cycle of misery for years. I tell him I've had enough, he cries, promises to change, I feel sorry for him, desperately don't want to break up the family, give in, things fine for a while, then back to same old disconnected misery. I can't keep doing it to myself. Again this week he has been an awful misery, made me feel like it's me at fault for just expecting a little chat or him to look up from the ipad for five minutes and acknowledge me.
My problem is this though, I have been hanging on till we can find a cheaper house (currently in rental as our purchase fell through - and deep down I knew I didn't want to commit to a mortgage with him again, things too uncertain). I have sat with the calculator and every which way I do it, even with child benefit and some tax credits (I don't qualify for a lot) and taking the cheapest 3 bed in the area (not that any are coming up, and we are looking at a wide area), I basically cannot afford it here on my own, I need a cheaper house . Even then, after everything I think I'll only have £100 left per month for non essentials.
I'm at the top of my earnings bracket. I just don't know what to do. I have to stay strong and listen to my inner voice. I know really my marriage isn't right and won't change. I also know that I have disconnected myself, any attempts I make are on behalf of the kids, that's not how I want to live. He sucks the life out of me.
Please help me see a way forward!! They say money doesn't buy you happiness but it bloody helps a lot....