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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did anyone else's parents over-use 'smacking'?

53 replies

chickaboodledoodle · 07/05/2014 23:35

My father is a very angry, controlling man. He used to sulk a lot when I was a child, and would always tell my mum to tell me when I'd upset him. Him and my mum are both extremely oversensitive, so I'd often get told off or punished because I said "thank you" in the wrong tone or something.

I am in my thirties now but feel extremely angry as my dad totally over-used smacking. He used to smack me around the head, hard, or punch me on the arm, or slap my face.

What is even worse is that he continued "smacking" me until I left home at the age of 20, whenever he felt that I had done something wrong. My younger sister would get shouted at, but not smacked as much as I was. Apparently whilst I lived in his house then he had the right to smack me.

One of the final straws before I moved out was a morning when my dad woke up and thought a table in the hallway had been moved, and he came storming into my room in the early hours, removed my duvet and slapped me really hard on the thigh.

It's assault really isn't it? I still feel so angry about it.

OP posts:
Myusernameismyusername · 03/10/2016 13:36

I was always brought up to believe that the discipline was of my own doing so I didn't really understand about abuse. Now my dad is middle aged he has 'no recollection' of anything and now he no longer can intimidate me, he clings onto me and my children like a limpet, placing all his emotions onto me and making me responsible for his happiness.
So I can't talk to anyone in my family about it because all my mum does is tell me how it made her feel to watch it 'and be so helpless' and my sister never ever experienced any of it and I suspect thinks I am making some of it up. He just never went for her, and she just doesn't seem to remember a lot of it with me

ShebaShimmyShake · 03/10/2016 13:46

Sounds like my father. I wish he were still alive because then I could slap him. He stopped doing it when I told him that if he ever did it again I'd hit him right back. Fucking bullying coward at the end of the day.

If you ever slap your own abusive father, please tell us all about it so I can enjoy it vicariously. I would love to belt mine the way he loved belting me.

Myusernameismyusername · 03/10/2016 14:02

I did hit mine a few times and usually took aim for the balls area with some hefty kicks and 90's heels but it made it worse

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