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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why can't I rise above it?

5 replies

TheScreamingfrog · 06/05/2014 20:05

I split up with H at the beginning of December having found photo evidence of him wearing womens underwear with someone else's foot in the photo. It really is the stuff of nightmares. He also had a massive porn problem which I suspect he had had for years.

He's just dropped DD (3.5) off and put her to bed and then starts asking about divorce and giving me shit about just how hard his life is and how he is going to be doing me a favour in the financial settlement and so on.

At this point I remind him the reason as to why we are divorcing and trying to explain that he is not the only one struggling on a daily basis.... I am a trainer and rely heavily on family help for child care when working etc and whilst at the moment, money is okay actually I struggle daily with the massive betrayal by someone who purported to love me.

He stomps off telling me this conversation ends here as he will say something that will hurt me. I did retaliate by saying that it was always my fault wasn't it Hmm

But why, oh why, do I go down this past as I am now sat here feeling really shit. I knew this would end like this but I am so fucking sick of listening to his woe is me bull shit when he is the one who saw fit to go and find someone to put him in frilly knickers to give him a thrill. I suspect he paid too but that's another story......

I just needed to get all this out of my head. What he does and says should no longer affect me as he no loungers features in my life other than as DDs Dad.

Rant over Angry

OP posts:
Fuckhimandhisfatbelly · 06/05/2014 20:24

op I'm at the beginning of a split. In which apparently I'm taking all the blame for. He won't accept any responsibly for nothing.

They are just selfish bastard cunts that manage to make them self the victim no matter how cuntish they have behaved.

Wish I had something more constructive for you Sad

TheScreamingfrog · 06/05/2014 20:33

Love the username! That made me laugh as it could so easily apply to h!

I hope you are doing ok? - I have to be honest, in so many ways my life is so much simpler as I am not fighting something I can't see or identify and I no longer have to deal with the moods and the general shit. In fact, most of the time, I just wish I had found the damn pictures 18 months earlier and could have spared me a load of self blame and soul searching thinking I was the problem!

Stay strong and remember - no one snoring next to you and the house stays tidy and the toilet seat down Wink

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 06/05/2014 20:34

Yep, selfish bastards and don't rise to it, also how about sad ones to boot. You can obviously say, god how on earth did I ever go near him in the first place.... blame it on hormones and move on Grin

something2say · 06/05/2014 20:38

Ladies....minimise the contact. It seems to work out, right, that even a normal conversation somehow goes wrong and you end up feeling bad? Avoid. They all turn out like that. It's either that or avoid conversation, and keep anything you do have to discuss at a minimum.

TheScreamingfrog · 06/05/2014 20:48

You are both right.

I will just have to remember that yes, he is a knob but he is not my problem now and if he is all woe is me, that is his problem.

Not only that, will stop talking unless about DD.

OP posts:
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