this may be long so I apologise in advance.
me and dh have been talking about moving. We live in Swindon and dh works in London so commutes two hours each way to work and back every day. Suffice to say, this travelling is now getting too much for him and he would like to move closer to London. We went through something similar two years ago, we decided to move to Surrey, but if I'm honest I had lots of doubts about that from the outset as ds was only two then and I had friends here and m/t groups etc that ds loved and the thought of moving away terrified me. But I went along with it, we sold our house and put in an offer on one in Surrey, but two weeks before exchange I had a change of heart and realized I couldn't do it. Dh was very understanding and we backed out and bought a bigger house here instead. But since then dh has changed jobs and his new job is more demanding, and the subject of moving has come up again. This time though I feel that I'm at a different point in my life, and moving wouldn't be so terrifying for me.
But this time we're looking at Essex, and yesterday we went to Chelmsford to have a look around. We found an area we liked the look of in terms of houses, and I really liked the town centre, and I came away feeling quite excited even at the prospect of moving there. Ds will start school next year, there are good schools, and I intend to do my counselling which I can do at the university, something which also isn't as easily available where we currently live.
So we've decided that we're going to put our house on the market and see where we go from there, i.e. see how quickly we can sell etc.
But the biggest thing for me has been my family. It's no secret that I don't get on hugely well with my mother, well since we've talked about moving she's been nothing but negative. Firstly she was saying that she thought my dh should give up his job in london and move to Swindon, a step which would mean I would have to go back to work and we'd still have to downsize the house. So I wrote off that idea, then she's been telling me that I won't make any friends in Chelmsford, that dh will be at work all day and I'll be home alone, and when I pointed out I intend to go to uni and that people meet people at school gates etc anyway, she just said "oh yeh, well we'll see".
I know she makes some valid points, I know I'm going to have to make the effort to go out and meet people, I know it's not going to be easy, but I do also know that it can be done - mother dear pointed out that I would be "on your own all day when you move there" well what the hell does she think I do here? Yes it's nice to have family nearby sometimes, and I realize that there will have to be compromises, I'm not totally naive, but we've lived here all this time for my benefit, now my dh deserves to be considered as well, and moving will benefit ds in the long term in terms of education.
I was so positive about this earlier today, and now she's waded in and trampled all over it, it's as if she believes I can't do anything, why does she have to be like that? why can't she be a supportive mother - why does she have to always put me down?