Unrequited friendship

[Barbie7]

I know this is a weird topic, and I'm sorry but would really like to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I have a local friend who has children and a dh, and I always want to see her more than she wants to see me. She has the same sense of humour as me and is way more interesting than everyone else we know at the school gate, and she only lives a couple of streets away.

The thing is, she never seems to want to see me all that often, and I seem way more keen to set up playdates than she does. It's also complicated by the fact that I fancy her dh something chronic. And so I'm always wondering if I want to see her for her or because it might be a chance to see him.

Every time I text her I worry that I'm being overly keen and I hate myself and think I'm pathetic for being so weak about this.

I wish I could be a good acquaintance instead of an overkeen friend. And if I can't be a proper acquaintace, should I just cut her out of my life?

My problem is also that I have no job and I am a housewife and I'm bored and lonely most of the time and underemployed. I can't get intellectually stimulated by housework however hard I try, so the school drop off time takes on epic proportions in my head as I think what to say to him or her. (They alternate). I wish they would just move away!

Does any one have anything similar going on? I feel so hopeless and depressed about this situation.

If I cut her out of my life she would wonder why - its not like she did anything wrong.

How do I find out about adult literacy? I think I could do that. My degree was in English way back when but I never really did anything with my degree. I thought about teaching TEFL as I enjoyed helping a Japanese friend with a mock interview and she got the job afterwards.

Bamik - LOL - whenever I go during the day all the men are sort of stringy looking old chaps - so no danger there!!

I must get to bed now. Seeing my Mum tomorrow (Arghhhh but that's not for this thread) and need to get some rest beforehand.

But to everyone on this thread - thankyou - I came on here feeling really tearful and now I feel quite positive about the future - I just really needed other people's opinions about this and you've all given really good advice. I think I can let this friendship go with a clear conscience. And the feeling of freedom that thought brings me is really tangible! So thankyou very much for taking the time to reply. You all have really big hearts and I appreciate it.

You could try contacting the Adult Literarcy Service in your area. When I did it it was organised through the council education department. I used to do one-to-one teaching of refugee women who were too shy or traumatised to go to English classes, it was a brilliant project and everyone I knew that worked on it found it very rewarding.