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Relationships

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Original poster

Online dating, size 18

46 replies

Anonynony · 05/05/2014 08:22

I have been dabbling in the world of online dating for a few days and have gotten loads of messages from what appear to be really lovely guys, lots asking me on dates etc.

The problem is, I'm a size 18 and none of my pictures really convey that not on purpose but I just don't like full length pictures but it just occurred to me I can't possibly go on any of these dates when the poor bloke might think I'm a size 10 (well you'd probably guess more 14 from my pics)

Is there any way of getting it across in future, like maybe saying something on my profile? But that would make it a bigger deal than needs be?
I don't want to trick anyone, I'd die if they were really disappointed or said something!

OP posts:

fedup22 · 05/05/2014 20:36

Im doing online dating and im a size 16. I only have head shots. I do hate having my pic taken though. I would say put in your profile that your curvy. Hope you have better luck than me as i seem to go on dates with guys looking for the ' happy ending' at the end of the night that they are not going to get!!

DownstairsMixUp · 05/05/2014 20:54

Tbh if your honest about your size anyway, it weeds out the arseholes! A colleague at work was on POF and met him with a girl he claimed only had head shots and arranged to meet, he walked in the pub recognised her face and saw she was bigger and walked off!!! Rude twat. Everyone is entitled to a preference so it does help weed out he absolute nob heads. I am not skinny, not fat either, I think I just put something on my profile when I online dated about just not expecting a supermodel and I was a very average size and not very toned! Then if people decided to meet me and thought I was a little chubby or whatever, that was their issue, I was honest so bugger them!

Jakadaal · 05/05/2014 22:28

I thought average UK dress size was 14/16? Given the variances in sizes in shops dress size means zilch really! Also different people carry weight in different places. Curvaceous with a fantastic personality sounds very Marilyn Monroe

hertsandessex · 05/05/2014 22:38

If you don't have a reasonably honest picture then just say you are size 16 or size 18. It will put off some people but many won't mind and some may even like it!

BillyBanter · 05/05/2014 22:58

so any woman who doesn't fancy overweight men with beer bellies is a knobhead?

Any woman who complains that the slim man in the photo on his profile was actually much larger is an arsehole?

mummyOF4darlings · 05/05/2014 23:30

Hiya, just be honest. I was a size 20 at 1 point after having my twins and went on sites, my confidence wasnt very good either but i was just honest, most said stuff like omg you dont look big in your pic etc. I started to loose weight and at a 18 i started feeling more confident and went on a few dates I never came across anyone who had an issue with it, I stated in my discription that I was a plus size (cant remember which phrase i used exactly).

Ive managed to get down to a 16 now in jeans which im chuffed about but my belly is still hideous it is a confidence killer but I think secretly most men dont mind tbh

hakunafrittata · 05/05/2014 23:37

Do a full length picture. If people don't contact you because of your weight, then they aren't for you. This way you can filter out the men who don't find larger ladies to be their cup of tea- trust me, there are men who like big girls. I personally know someone who is bigger than an 18 and is a model, and the positive attention she gets on her modelling page is CRAZY.

Dirtybadger · 05/05/2014 23:48

Again; get an "honest" picture. I prefer larger women. I wouldn't message someone who was say, a size 8/10. If they were actually a 14/16 they would be missing out on me (flattering myself there somewhat)- you see what I mean.

You will feel more confident on the dates, then. Everything is sorted no second guessing what they're thinking about your "new" weight.

Good luck and enjoy!

Original poster

Anonynony · 06/05/2014 09:08

Aw thanks everyone!

I was on the phone to the lovely guy for hours last night, he's still trying to get me to meet up but I just don't know. I sent him a few slightly more honestly bathroom mirror pics but I'm not sure it gets the size issue across.

I definitely don't think men who don't like plus size women are knobheads at all but a man who will see the woman and walk away is very rude in my opinion!!
It's so true though if I had more realistic pics up it would weed out the guys who wouldn't be interested anyway.

Disclaimer, this is NOT a boast at all more to show how in denial about my size I am! hakuna it's crazy you say that because when I was in town with an ex before a woman approached us and said she was from a modelling agency, I was absolutely chuffed until she mentioned plus size!! I nearly died of embarrassment (I don't know WHY when I was about a 20 at the time!!) and it became one of my most hated, cringeworthy memories!

OP posts:

Essexmanview · 06/05/2014 22:11

Lets have a male point of view lol she seems worried but many of us guys love a woman with some curves. It may be what the fashion industry wants but most of us normal red blooded men want something to cuddle up to. Go for it and be brave!

MrsWOLF1 · 06/05/2014 22:18

Neither me or my now hubby mentioned our weight when we met online 10 yrs ago just go out & have fun

Original poster

Anonynony · 07/05/2014 08:31

The right moment came up and I brought it up! He was shocked that that was my reason for not meeting up and told me it doesn't bother him at all, that he's 16st (though I've seen his pics and he wears them very very well so that didn't do much to ease my mind!)
I send him a full length bathroom mirror pic (still a bit more flattering than my daily look as I was dressed up and wearing heels and spanks) but it was a full length pic none the less and he said he thought it was beautiful

Thank you all so much, I'm really looking forward to meeting him!

OP posts:

ImpatientOne · 07/05/2014 18:15

That's great news. Have a fantastic time!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/05/2014 18:39

Good luck Anonynony!

Original poster

Anonynony · 09/05/2014 06:45

I met him last night and it couldn't have gone any better! The chemistry was unbelievable and he was really complimentary without being cheesy

We already have second date plans made!!
Thank you all so much!

OP posts:

DustBunnyFarmer · 09/05/2014 08:19

Lovely update - hope it goes well.

ImpatientOne · 09/05/2014 08:27

Brilliant

Thanks for the update and hope it continues to go well!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/05/2014 08:52

This put a smile on my face - excellent.

Fairylea · 09/05/2014 08:54

So pleased for you :)

Hope it continues to go well !

Original poster

Anonynony · 11/05/2014 12:55

Last update I promise!

We spent the day together yesterday, he brought me out to a beautiful waterfall miles away then out for dinner and back to his house to meet his dogs!

Whatever happens with this, I've definitely gotten my confidence back to me myself and not to try to disguise anything about myself!

OP posts:

Darkesteyes · 11/05/2014 17:16

Been following this thread. Really pleased for you OP.

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