Dd contact with her father.

[Fuckhimandhisfatbelly]

We split up recently. He left.
He has tried to see dd as much as possible. He is downstairs now while I have a cup of tea in bed.

What do I do regarding his much contact time. We can't do 50:50 as his work is very demanding which I'm so glad about

Things are still quiet raw for me at the moment and I'm not keen on having him round the house all the time. He would see her every day if he could but I feel I need him to back off so I can regroup and get myself together.

I'm i being horrible? I was thinking of pushng just for Saturdays but feel guilty and mean. He has no place of his own to take her to.

Need guidance !

You should suggest outings where possible until he has a place of his own.

How old is dd?

She is 13 months. So feel guilty as she shout outs for him.

So she is very young, bless her. Also means she will adapt quite easily in my experience.

For a start, why is he here so early today? Is it a quick pre-work visit? You should be able to stipulate times when it is convenient for you, and possibly make it times when you can disappear out for a while.

Keep letting him know this is a temporary solution and that he needs to make alternative arrangements for the long term.

Enjoy your cuppa

It's your home now so you have to set your boundaries. If you're not comfortable with him swanning in and out like he still lives there then sit down with him and work out a contact schedule of visits and stays at his home - not yours. If he doesn't have a home that is his problem to resolve. DCs need structure and predictability or they get confused. If he won't work out a schedule, get a solicitor. Start as you mean to go on.

And if he gave up his job and suggested you only see her on Saturdays...........how would YOU feel?

Hours of caring for a 13 month old by yourself will take their toll. Assuming there was no abuse and nothing that has you worried about how fit he is to take care of DD, I wouldn't rush to box yourself into a corner. Besides as you have noticed she is pleased to see him.

He must be sleeping somewhere - unless in a house of undesirables can he not take her to his place? Or perhaps you could drop her off at a neutral place, are her paternal grandparents anywhere close by?

Even a tot like DD can be taken out and about. Or is it that he decamped to another woman's home?

Hello all! Sorry for late reply. He doesn't work Saturdays !

He is currently staying in a b&b - apparently.

It's just I feel resentful that he has just walked away and left me to deal with the fall out.

I have moments of clarity where I want him and dd to see as much of each other as possible then I remember every thing I now have to sort out and could cheerfully fly kick him in the throat if I was that agile

It would ruin me if I could see her once a week as it would him- but things are so still so raw.