How to handle the behaviour of these friends?

[veryrandomboringnamechange]

I have two friends that I introduced to each other. One is someone that I have been friends with for years (Friend A), and the other is my neighbour (Friend B). Our DCs are all in the same year at school, and when they all started school 4 years ago I introduced these two friends to each other.

They got on well, and for about a year we all met up regularly; for coffee, or with the children, or for nights out, which was nice. Suddenly I noticed that both were being a little bit offhand with me. They would do things such as meet up and not invite me, or would be walking on the school run ahead of me, both turn round and look at me but carry on walking rather than wait, or would both just be very off and sheepish when they saw me, as if they didn't want to talk to me.

I tried and tried to make an effort, but after a few months it was obvious that they didn't really want to be friends with me any longer, so I backed off.

They stayed best of buddies for quite a while, then I noticed that friend B seemed to have ditched friend A and that friend B had some new "mum friends" from the school that she was spending a lot of time with. Friend A then started contacting me again, and we started to meet up and do things together again. I mentioned how I felt about what had happened before but she was a bit dismissive of it and made out that nothing had happened, almost as if I'd imagined it. Which I really know that I didn't. Friend B also started being friendly towards me again, although I didn't really get close to her again, but I stupidly considered her a friend again.

However, now A and B have suddenly become close friends again. I think they had a night out a few weeks ago. And now both are snubbing me again. They keep doing things such as pretending that they haven't seen me at the school, and (I know this one sounds very childish), ignoring me on Facebook. Friend A also won't make any arrangements with me again. It's just like it was when they started ignoring me before.

I am guessing that this is going to happen again and again each time I get friendly with friend A again. Friend B is a bit of a "divider and conqueror" and has to be in with everybody.

What do I do?

Disengage. One is spineless and the other a bitch.

Agreed. I would be tempted to put that as my Facebook status too.

Agree with hassled Rise above it, give them your best cheery smile whenever you see them, and act 'too busy to notice' if they ignore you. Don't give them the satisfaction of letting them know you're upset.
This would really hurt me, but concentrate on your family and other friends, and you will be fine.

Now is your chance to find other good friends.

These two are awful people to treat you like this. Don't let them do it to you again.

Seek out other mums and neighbours. Make a real effort with other people.

Don't respond to any offers of friendship from A or B again. It is meaningless.

And remember, it's them. Not you. Pair of hags.

You don't deserve this. Disengage, yes, but act as if you haven't noticed what they're doing. Don't let them know they've hurt you. Of course, next time A wants to use you again, you'll be unavailable, constantly.

Hope you soon find proper friends.

Oh yes definitely do not let them know they have affected you.

They are not people who understand what friendship really is so showing true feelings will have no effect. They will use it against you actually.

These aren't your friends love.

OP, these are not friend's, they are friendlies at best. Awful notches at worst. Delete them from your life and don't look back. If they try being friendly again, ignore completely. Don't answer texts or messages on FB. Live your life as if they didn't exist.

Friend B is a Wendy. Friend A is an eejit and will end up Wendied herself and try to crawl back to you.

Sorry meant frenemies... at best. And no apostrophe on friends.. ahh the spell detector..

And bitches not notches....

Right. I need to know what a 'wendy' is and also what is a 'cah' ?

Dont waste another second of your life on all of it. What value does it bring you other than stress and unhappiness.

I learned long ago that you cant control people's thoughts or behaviour, so better not to expend energy trying.

Move on, at break-neck speed!

neil a wendy is someone who you befriend and introduce to your friendship group who then proceeds to maneuver you out of said group via various dirty tricks. She could decide to take over arranging meetings and leave you out and let the others think you couldn't make it or she could start a whisper campaign about something you supposedly did to her to garner sympathy. Either way you end up left out in the cold.

A cah is a cow, bitchy little shit shit stirrer.

Back away find new interests OP or you'll be on this merry-go-round forever and each time it will claw at a bit of your self esteem. Do you really want to wait around for scraps from their table?

A wendy is domeone who comes into an established friendship/group and alienats one person. I'm constantly amazrd by how many others follow suit instead to pulling her up on it.
A cah is a cow in london speak, innit

Slow typyer

Sorry ignore the errant shit in there.

Friend A must be a bit dim if she happily listens to Friend B carp on about everyones faults and hasn't thought for one second that just maybe B does it about her behind her back. Don't bother with either of these poisonous idiots. Polite hellos to make sure all your kids can be as much friends as they choose and be sadly very busy when A inevitably comes about again with her "lets meet up, B is being mean to me" back-up plan friendship offer.
Having a low tolerance for drama-llamas is a key component of a stressfree life IME.

I expect you have lots of other friends, just quietly cut them out of your life. And then delete them from fb. Friend A must be a bit dim if she hasn't thought hmm, friend B is a bit of a gossip, I wonder if she talks about me like that? Leave them to it, sounds like they deserve each other and I'm sure you can do better.

What a nice pair. Agree with all of the above.

But. One thing not discussed here are the children you all have around the same age. Is there any chance it's connected with the kids falling out or something equally stupid. Once a good friend got very cool with me and I felt awful. It later transpired my ds had scratched her ds and injured his eye. I never even knew until weeks later.

Just a thought.

Blimey, they sound like a pair of ten year olds. Dump the pair of them.

I just learnt a new term today. "Wendied". You will find that you get a lot of this kind of thing in the office place too. By guys too ! ("I will choose the best player on MY team. This kind of thing.)

They sound very mean actually.

"Friend B is a Wendy. Friend A is an eejit and will end up Wendied herself and try to crawl back to you."

^this has already happened from the sounds of it.

Tbh I think Friend A sounds worse than Friend B as she's the one you've known for longer, the one who came crawling back to you when B showed no interest and now has gone back when B snapped her fingers.

agree with the others, find some new friends. Dump them but don't be obvious or make a big thing of it. Keep it light and breezy esp if your DCs are all friends. Don't get involved in their lives or dramas. Smile, wave, slowly disengage, leave them to their childish games. They sound nasty, immature and not worth the hassle.