Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

When chatting to a guy online, are there ways to tell if he is a liar?

26 replies

SoleSource · 03/05/2014 14:30

Is he reallysingle?

No children at 44? really

He has apparently been single for twelve years. really

I have Googled his name and was unable t tell. I think i need to ask what his middle name is Grin

No photo exchange yet although he has said he doesn't have a photo of himself on his old PC yet Hmm

OP posts:
GlaikitFizzog · 03/05/2014 14:33

Îts quite possible to childless at 44. Is your spidey sense jingling? I am always wary of jumping on first impressions, but so often I've ignored and been right all along.

Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 14:33

We have been chatting around at evening tie for around ten days, met on a chat room.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 14:34

Yes spidey sense is jingling Grin but that is because I'm suspicious of people in general.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/05/2014 14:38

If there was an easy way to tell, wouldn't that take all the fun out of it? :) FWIW I think lying is easiest to pick up over the phone when there is no distracting body-language to get in the way. With online chatting you have to form judgements in other ways.... for example, refer to things he told you at earlier stages & look out for inconsistencies in answers. Lying is tough to keep up.

Spispens · 03/05/2014 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlaikitFizzog · 03/05/2014 14:42

It's tricky, because you want to believe someone is genuine, like yourself, but there are so many chancers and trolls out there, you worry if your judgment is skewed.

I'm much more suspicious of people now than I used to be!

Maybe try being upfront and ask right out if he is being honest, or is it a glossy version of the truth

or

take what he tells you at face value and don't invest more that you are willing to lose until you know him better.

I'll just get off the fence a moment to remove the splinters from my arse!!

Spispens · 03/05/2014 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 15:13

Dating, hopefully :)

OP posts:
louby44 · 03/05/2014 16:00

I wouldn't be chatting to anyone who didn't supply a photo within the first 24 hours. To me that is suspicious!

Does he chat at the same time everyday? Do you have his mobile number?

Lots of guys are childless by their 40's or have been bringing up step-children.

Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 16:02

Yeah he does chat at the same sort of times everyday. From around 8pm until early hours. His mobile is broken apparently and he gave me his email address last night.

OP posts:
Spispens · 03/05/2014 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

louby44 · 03/05/2014 16:04

No mobile? Odd I think! Who can't live without a mobile these days.

Has he seen your photo?

I would have to have photo, mobile number and speak on the phone before going any further.

Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 16:09

I'll give it tie see what happens wrt the mobile phone. Would like to chat on the phone to him soon. No we haven't exchanged photos yet, he mentioned sending me his photo, first.

OP posts:
LividofLondon · 03/05/2014 16:48

Hmm, the no photo (could look nothing like he's described himself) and no mobile (so you can't hear his voice...could sound like a freak!) would be ringing alarm bells for me. You can pick up a good second hand mobile and SIM card very cheaply so why hasn't he? No pic on his PC eh? Hmm. Can't he get a friend to help him (or doesn't he have friends with PCs and phones?!) It's possible he's a fantasist who just enjoys the chat and I'd be interested in what happens if you put some pressure on to meet him ASAP; will he do so or will he use stalling tactics. I'd advise not spending any longer "chatting" to him without a photo and a phone call, and not to build any sort of emotional connection before meeting. And I say this from bitter experience. Perhaps look at the online dating threads as there are plenty of tips on how to avoid the pitfalls.

JeanSeberg · 03/05/2014 16:49

I think you should be setting some deadlines and having a few rules. No mobile and no picture are definite red flags.

I bet he'd shit himself if you suggested meeting up.

Ten days is too long to be chatting in my opinion.

RubbishMantra · 03/05/2014 16:57

My opinion is that he's a fantasist, especially with the broken mobile/no photograph combo.

Is he flirtatious or wanting to discuss sexy stuff at all?

Trust your sixth sense, IME it's usually right.

Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 17:32

Thanks for the advice so far :)

It is a chat site not a dating site. He is probably a married fantasist. Anther one Grin

I will continue to chat to him and expect nothing. If i find out he is married, I'm off!!

OP posts:
Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 17:47

No sexy chat from his side at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 18:08

Yeah he married,the twat x

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 03/05/2014 18:24

I'm not sure what you mean by a chat site. Is it to do with a specific interest/activity?

Tinks42 · 03/05/2014 18:58

No photo - why would you spend so long talking to someone without knowing what they sort of look like? I find this very odd these days.
His mobile is broken? umm ok - get a new one? or stick a sim in an old one for now.

Who cares and who wants to second guess stuff. Not worth the time or energy is my opinion.

GlaikitFizzog · 03/05/2014 19:00

Ach sole, that's shite, but good news is your spidey sense works!

Have some Wine, relax and have a soak in the bath!

LividofLondon · 03/05/2014 20:27

What a bummer Sole SadAngry How did you find out?

Original poster
SoleSource · 03/05/2014 21:16

I asked a chatter in the room and they said yes he married. I asked him in PM tonight, he flew off the handle and told me off for asking him one million times. I asked him if he was single once days ago. Hmm lol

It is a chat room not a dating site

here

www.justchat.co.uk

not for the faint hearted

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 03/05/2014 21:26

Was going to say the no phone/ no pic is totally dodgy but I see you've had that confirmed.

Onwards and upwards! Wine and Flowers for you