Have changed my name for this am a regular posting but not as brave a nail polish... Sorry this is going to be a bit of a long one..Background is I am very happily married with two dc, dh is pretty much everything you could ask for in a husband and our life is very comfortable and very nice so I am not unhappy. However I have been working very closely with a team of people of work for the last six months and have become smitten by one of the men. Right from day one there was a spark there I thought he was lovely and was quite nicely bobbing along happily just having little daydreams but never intending to do anything about it. I felt the feeling was pretty mutal from little things as he would always stand just that bit too close and our hands would sometimes touch just a little bit too long but I am not your average bit of 'totty' as I am very overweight but I do always make an effort to look nice. A couple of months ago one of my colleagues mentioned to me that she though the two of us got on very well and she thought he had athing for me. I was totally amazed as I really thought I was imagining it and as I am surrounded by a lot of younger very attractive colleagues I couldn't understand why he did.
Cut a long story short at the end of the time we finished working together a couple of weeks ago and our department organised a night out, we were all riding on the crest of a very sucessful project completion and were a bit high. It became quite apparant through the course of our last working day together that my colleague had been right and that he did have feelings for me. Probably at this point I should have decided not to go out but I did and things progressed, he was absolutely lovely and we had a lovely time. We both had a lot to drink and we were very very late home. The day after I saw him fleetingly but not to rellay have a conversation with other than how was yuor hangover and to ascertain his girlfriend was furious with him. I then went on holiday and only got back this week. I've seen him a couple of times not on our though and we certainly have had any conversations re this, he is still being lovely and a little bit flirty. I just can't look him in the eye. I think I need some closure on this and need to ask him what it was about and does he want it to happen again. I won't do it again but I think I just want to know it wasn't a drunken mistake on his part. Also I still don't understand why,he has a lovely very slim girlfriend and I don't really understand what he saw in me. Am I just playing with fire by starting the conversation or is it sensible to get closure so that I can move on. It's taking up a bit too much brain space at the moment. Alongside this is I don't feel very guilty about it and my realtionship with dh is still lovely as always. Feel like I am going round the twist. Thanks if you've got this far.