Give me some self respect to stop practically texting him begging to come back :-(

[Anywhichway]

Dp walked out last night. I started a thread last night and had some lovely support.

I keep swinging from disbelief, anger then heart brokenness and then texting him.

He is not even replying now.

He was a wanker and also walked out on dd (12 m) and I'm starting to blame myself.

Someone reach in and give me a slap .

I'm so glad I've not got wine

My ex walked out on me and DD, then 18 months, the very day I took an overdose because I was so severely depressed.

5 years later, I could sing from the rafters, having got rid of the selfish wanker.

Its not you, never think that. What you feel is normal, and it does get better.

Its like getting over an addiction, the more you abstain, the less of a hold it has.

Op, please stop being so had on yourself.
There's a lot you need to sort out but for now think of this - he has walked out on his child. Why would you beg someone like that to come back? To possibly do it again? To walk all over the pair of you?
Turn the phone off and put it away. Do something nice for yourself, have a drink, cuddle your dd.
Take care of the both of you first, then you can deal with this when you feel clearer and stronger.

tall so sorry you were that down I'm glad your in a much better place - there's hope for me!

ginger your right. I'm sat here checking my phone every three seconds. It's going off. Thanks

Seeing a relationship fall apart is a tough thing to witness.
Not knowing why is worse.

If you know why he walked out give yourself some space to think things through. Whatever he says today it may be quite a different tune by the weekend. If there's someone else involved he may keep quiet about that.

Do you have rl support? Don't keep this a secret, tell someone close. If you are reading this and thinking, he's my best friend, I normally share everything with him - I am sorry but if he has left you and DD with little or no warning then that does not make him look like "D"P or father of the year.

We've probably all done it. I did it.

Actually don't regret it. I am glad I let him know how much I did not want him to go. With hindsight while I temporarily lost all dignity I also let him know how I felt and would not have been able to live with it if I'd not done all I could. Depends on the situation though.

Don't beat yourself up. You can reclaim your dignity by going NC and letting him wonder why you suddenly stopped caring.

donkey he just keeps saying he has left me not dd we havnt been getting in great for a while but it was bad. I would have worked on it.

We were both at the point of leaving. He didn't want to try.

He was my best friend. Clearly I wasn't his.

I once sent one of these texts- a plea from the bottom of my heart. I had deleted his number from my phone and typed it in from memory to send the text. Fortunately I got the number wrong! I got a lovely phone call from the person whose number it was, asking if I was ok and telling me he wasn't worth it! SO glad I got the wrong number even though sniffling to a stranger on the phone was highly embarrassing.
Sorry OP, I know that doesn't help but I thought it might make you laugh. We've all done it. Things will work out in time.

minion I feel like I've lost it. Need to give myself a shake.

Put. The phone. Down. Lol it's hard iv been there sometimes it's hard to say wat you want too in real life and pour it all out into texts I always think at least you know yourself you've done what you can and not let your pride get in the way of showing your heartbroken however I think you've showin him how you feel now leave him to it try get some sleep. It will get easier xx

Ok, so let's focus on that. About the part that you mentioned about it being bad. What was it about, and why. Remember, to be honest, and to be fair. When you realise the red flags, then it will hurt less.

I actually read your response to the other thread and I thought to myself "facepalm". Cos you asked him outright and he literally did it. lol...

It reminded me of the situation where I recently broke up with a guy of say round 6 months or so. I watched the movie One Day, and I was so blubbery and then I dumped him that same night. He was so upset. But then since then, I had to console him through it all, and once a while, an angsty comment comes out from me and he bypasses it. I realised my red flags, and I also realised that I did not control it, and he also did not put me first, so it was going to break eventually too. I recently laughed as he showed me a girl that he had been checking out. I also realised that as harsh as it seems, it will be that one day it will end up as pretty real.

We are definitely much happier.

SO, my advice is, as much as it hurts now, let your emotions go through the sting, and asks yourself what were the red flags to begin with. Once you realised what it is, write them down. Because these "red flags" are actually things that you want from him as a partner. For example, I wanted the guy to put me first. He did not commit to me, and nor did he put big future plans about his life to include me too. He assumed an awful lot, without even asking me. So well, it has to end doesn't it ? Whereas I tried to offer solutions which meet him half way, he did not take those ones. So when reall, we tried our best. I was not really focusing on him either, which was my downfall. For example, he tried to make me eat things that I did not like, and I ended up being sick. He was that kind of a partner. Big red flags, crossing personal boundary til I die. (Of food poisoning.)

I'm shocked I'm like this.

For a few months he has really got on my nerves, we argue of petty stuff. Then he left for a week and messaged a girl . What was in that message I'll never know because he refused to let me see it then deleted it. When he came back he was like a robot.

In my head, I was about to leave him but I was going to suggest that we give it one last go for dd who is so tiny. I knew he wasn't feeling good about us, it seemed like the perfect make or break time.

Only he grasped it and made a break for it.

It went from sitting on the couch together, just finishing tea to him fuming me and heading off to a hotel.

He was relieved and that's what killing me.

Dumping *

He messaged a girl = cheating !

Come on... Even when I was dating this guy and we had our ups and downs, we made sure that we stayed exclusive and for the first time in my life, I had no idea how deep my emotions can be for another person.

If your partner did not even figure this part out, then there is an issue.
Are you sure you want to be with him ? Since it does not sound like he was honest. Even when there are bad things, like things that he is not proud of, the ex tells it to me. And obviously I uphold the honor not to spread it.

Step away from the phone.

He's an arse and its better to ignore him and have a think about what you need financially. Don't forget he's already one step ahead.

I read something the other day- when you feel like this, write an ad for your ideal mate " wanted, uncaring man who will treat me like a doormat. I love that! Please pretend to be my friend and then ignore me. I like that too. And you must be a cheater. I love to spend my time worrying about you and that woman. If you also gamble and drink that's a plus in my book!" And so on.

It sounds dotty, but it helps you process what you're going through, perhaps. Its not for everyone though! I did it, and was horrified by what I had been putting up with! It gave me strength and a window into my thinking.

And- spend the weekend having a good time with your dd, turn the phone off, or ignore it, and think what you need. Fill your time and get his stuff packed and in bags.

He can still have a relationship with your dd, he's right there. But he doesn't get to have one with you.

If you like, I give you a little bit of crazy permission to destroy at least one item of his to alleviate the pain. Preferably his beloved item. But do not tell him about this. Lol.

You know, as ladies, sometimes I think we put up with TOO much excuses from the other side.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Keep posting here rather than contacting him. You are both saying that things haven't been right, that's because he had already checked out of your relationship. I like what lavenderhoney says.

I can really empathise regarding him being relieved and how it really bugs you. I am recently out of a long relationship and feel like you. The temptation to send stinky texts and emails is strong. Still angry about many things but I would not want him to think he was in my thoughts!

It's a horrible feeling and I think most of us have been there at some point.

As tempting as it is to keep contacting him, you have to remember that it will start to hurt less and you will eventually lose all the feelings you have for him at the moment. And when you do, the very last thing you'll want to think about is begging him to come back to you, or to at least acknowledge you. Find some paper, write it all down and say everything you need to say. Then fold it up and put it at the back of a drawer so you can add to it whenever you feel the urge to contact him.

The best thing you can do is get some support around you. Telling other people will help make it real.