Is 9 years too much???

[MozzchopsThirty]

Thats it really.

My mind has been poisoned by my mother who always said never go out with an older man.
Since my step father died (he was 12 years her senior and she became his carer) she has been dating unsuitable younger men!

So does it matter??
When is it an issue??

There's a chance that one person would have to become the other's carer at any point, really. You could marry a man 9 years older and then develop a debilitating illness in your 40s, so he ends up being your carer in his 50s and beyond. There's no guarantees.

No, not at all...

There are no guarantees in life, if you like him go for it.

I've been married for 13 years to a man 9 years older than me,it's no problem at all. As OURYVE said there is no guarantee I'll be fitter in old age than he is.

Yes that's very true I suppose

No other issues then?
Would people look at us and think

My step father was very very different to my mother which i think was more of an issue but she blamed it on age

One of you could get hit by a bus. You can't know what the future holds. 9 years is nothing!

I was pretty accurate guessing people's ages until 5 years' ago, now I don't have a clue.

Some couples are exactly the same age but genetics being what they are, one often looks considerably older than their partner.

Nine years, okay that's the span of a secondary school, years 1-7 and a bit extra, but it's not like 19 or 29 years. (Nothing wrong with that kind of age gap, but a lot more obvious).

What I'm trying to say is, what's the likelihood of strangers seeing you together and thinking, wow 9 years' age difference, how on earth did they get together?

Nine more years of 'baggage' than you, potentially, but unless you are very different personalities, I don't see why it matters.

He actually doesn't have any baggage despite being older!
I'm the one with 3 dcs and a divorce under my belt!!!

Nothing wrong with a gap.. we have 12 years, if I become his carer then so what? he could become mine tomorrow. Age is nothing IMO.

There isn't enough happy in the world to stress about such things.. take it while it's on offer.

Depends on your ages. 30 and 21 is a bit weird. 50 and 41, who cares?

Don't make a big thing about mentioning his age to your mother.

I'm 38 he's 47

I don't speak to my mother so no issues there!!

Does he "feel" too old for you? Does he act too old for you? these are the questions you need to ask yourself. If not I can't see a problem.

There's 25 years between my sister and her husband. They've been together for years and are really happy and suited.

I guess it's more about personalities and expectations people have about a relationship than age.

I do look at him sometimes and think 'wow you look old'

But no he acts perfectly, nothing untoward, nothing that suggests problems.

He likes things that I like, we laugh at same things and enjoy each other's company.
He's very fit (probably fitter than me) plays football, golf, cycles, runs

Im 38, my fella is 54 so 16 year age gap.
We've been friends for 20 years, in a relationship for 8.

Yes he looks older than me, but then he is!!
I fell in love with him, he fell in love with me.
You cant help who you fall for...

There is the possibility that in future I may become his carer but its not set in stone.
I could have an accident tomorrow and he could end up as my carer!

Id rather follow my heart and enjoy the here and now with my fella than worry about a future that we cant control.

9 years is nothing, especially as you are both mature adults.

There is 6 years between us and we were married at a young age. It never even crossed my mind that this was a significant gap and an extra 3 years is neither here nor there.

Thanks lots of positives on here