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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Midlife Crisis Husband

26 replies

MandyP1977 · 01/05/2014 16:00

Hi,

I am new to Mums Net and this is my first post. I have been with my husband for 13 years and have two amazing kids. I m looking to hear from anybody who is currently experiencing their once loving, caring husband who you thought you had an amazing marriage with suddenly turning into a complete stranger overnight after hitting 40.
Out of the blue one day in January he told me "he loved me but wasn't sure he was in love with me" then in the next breath admitted to seeing and having deep feelings for someone at work. He ended his emotional affair after admitting it but I asked him to leave. He begged to come back which I let him then he left again. I have gone through almost 4 months of hell as now he doesn't know what he wants from life and isn't sure if he wants to come home or not. Last Wednesday he ended our marriage for good. He has changed everything about himself, the way he dresses, thinks, his values, everything. To the extent our 10 year old says he feels his dad is a stranger. Our hearts are broken. I feel like part of me is missing. I would be really grateful to know that I am not alone.

OP posts:
Ddrr20 · 25/08/2017 10:22

Hi there

Yes I too experienced the mid life behaviour of my husband who is divorcing me for my irrational behaviour!! I will be glad to get him out of my life having experienced such bad behaviour - nobody deserves to be treated in such a way! He started the usual signs of mid life crisis in 2014 and started being bored with everything he once enjoyed! He was on regular business trips to New York and everything was very exciting for him over there. He then dyed his hair whilst over in New York and changed his clothing to a younger style and started wearing strong aftershave - all typical mid life crisis behaviour! My husband was 47 when he started all of this and he was confiding in his ex female coworker. He then moved out in 2015 and has now moved over to the USA - he had been planning all of this and he behaved cowardly throughout and cut himself off from friends and family - escape and avoid behaviour. The divorce has yet to be finalised and I can finally be free from all the emotional cruelty he has caused. I would not wish this sort of experience in a marriage on anyone. One door closes and another opens!Smile

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