Can you change your mind?

[dripty]

Once you have started the divorce process can you change your mind and stop the proceedings?
And if it is possible how do you sort out solicitors bills?

You can change your mind about anything at all but there will always be a bill to be paid. Who started the divorce and who has changed their mind?

Yes it's possible and you simply inform the solicitor and ask them to send you the final invoice for settlement.

Yes. That's partly what the mandatory 6 weeks between the issue of the nisi and absolute are about. But you'll have to pay for whatever charges you've accrued up to that point.

Whether it's a good idea or not is another matter entirely.

I started the proceedings. Have tried to tell DH how unhappy I am but just seem to go round in circles and have different views.
My solicitor has sent DH a letter informing him of my intent to divorce.
It is sitting on the kitchen table and I have felt physically sick since it arrived this morning. An tempted to hide it!
Do I really really want this???
He has not seen this yet and I keep wondering whether I should sit him down later when DCs in bed and try to get him to open up about what HE wants.
If he genuinely wants to try to make it work then I will not show him the letter. If he does his usual wishy washy spiel or says he does want to split then I will give him the letter.
My head is all over the place today as I was so sure about this until a couple of days ago.
Not sure if I am making a big mistake here

usual wishy washy spiel
This doesn't sound promising.

I don't know what drove you to contemplate divorce in the first place but was part of the reason that you feel disconnected, you have spent so much time trying to get DH to notice you? Maybe the sight of a solicitor's letter would force him to take stock and start appreciating what he has. But are you prepared for that kind of turn-around, might you be the realistic one who sees her relationship has run its course?

I agree with the PP. If you start a divorce do it because you think it is the right thing to do, not as some kind of leverage to get someone to communicate. That would be very cruel so be sure of your motives. It's natural to have doubts when making big decisions.

I'm separating from my wife. Not too fussed about divorce immediately. I keep wondering if it's the right thing to do because I have feelings of guilt and sadness. Mostly because I know she doesn't wasn't to separate but when I actually remind myself of all of the problems we have and the fact it's massively unlikely we can fix them it reassures me that I'm doing the right thing. Your mind can play tricks on you. It is easier (in the short term) to give in and not go through with the divorce and your brain knows this. Just have a sit down and a serious think about what led you to filing for divorce and if those reasons still stand then proceed.

What makes you think this conversation will be different?
And what makes you think it will be different even if he gets the letter and seems to want to address the issues?

I'd have thought you'd tell him you were going to divorce him before asking a solicitor to send him a letter, though.

You are all right.
There must be a reason for starting a divorce so I need to focus on WHY I felt the need to do so.
It's really NOT an attempt to get his attention.
Re the wishy washy spiel.... He has a tendency to just "go along with" instead of putting his pov in IYSWIM.

Yes I did tell him I would be seeing a solicitor a few weeks ago so it's not just being dropped on him out if the blue.

Does anyone else beyond your STBXH know you've instructed a solicitor? Have you confided in anyone.

I hope your talk answers your question either way.

Hi,

Have you separated?
It seems a little crazy to go straight to divorce especially as it seems you are unsure that it is what you really want.

Could a session with a marriage counsellor be helpful, not necessarily to avoid divorce, but to help you work out if that's the right course of action or whether your relationship is salvageable.