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Original poster

What do you think of this text?

29 replies

Pinkballoon · 30/04/2014 07:44

OK. Long story, but have cheating ex partner who I was separated from when I received this text on the morning of my DC's birthday. However, at the same time he was making very obvious attempts to get back with me and sending very emotional communications to me etc.

Strangely, he didn't make any plans for our DC's birthday. And didn't really ask if he could see DC either. Very vague about it all. On the morning of her birthday, quite out of the blue, I received this text on MY phone.

HI [HIS NAME], IS IT STILL OK FOR 10am TODAY? X [HER NAME]

That day, DC's birthday, he put a card through our door in the morning and then again in the evening. Didn't knock, didn't leave present. The times that he did this would indicate that he wasn't at work (but he's a mega worker - apparently always 'working late.')

So, all looks fairly straightforward. But where did she get MY number from and why send a text for him to ME? What was the point?

Needless to say, I texted back "Who is this?" but no reply. When I asked him what was going on, he denied, denied, denied and then started ridiculing me. We've had all the denial before when I've found out about other women. He's then claimed that I stopped him seeing his DC on her birthday etc……

Any thoughts on the text and why to my phone, and where she got my number from?

OP posts:
gobbynorthernbird · 30/04/2014 07:48

It sounds like he's trying to make you jealous. It probably isn't even from a woman.

mammadiggingdeep · 30/04/2014 07:51

Either him or her playing silly buggers. Either way I think it's a sign to stay away from him! Don't be tempted back.

handfulofcottonbuds · 30/04/2014 07:51

If it was from OW, it wasn't a mistake for her to send it to you. She put his name and her name, it was purely spiteful to let you know like that. She could have got your number from his phone?

Nasty!

AnotherTry · 30/04/2014 07:53

Use your time and energy on caring for your DC, not on that tosser.

LineRunner · 30/04/2014 07:53

Well someone's trying to wind you up.

struggling100 · 30/04/2014 08:03

I honestly don't know what to think about that. If he was trying to make you jealous, that's not exactly the most romantic message to send, is it? From the tone of it, it sounds more like the kind of message you'd send to a work colleague checking that you'd got the time of a meeting straight!

But on the other hand, I cannot understand how this woman would have got your number mixed up with his by accident. Have you ever lent him your phone to use, for example when his own was broken? If so, she might just have picked up an old message from your mobile and sent one in return.

Whatever, I don't completely understand the issue, because you were already separated on the grounds of his cheating, right? So isn't what he does kind of his own business now?

crispyporkbelly · 30/04/2014 08:07

Did you call the number?

bluebell345 · 30/04/2014 08:09

ring her number from another phone, see who answers phone.

firesidechat · 30/04/2014 08:10

Someone is playing mind games.

I don't see why they had to put Hi (his name) in a normal text to someone known to them, however they would obviously have to if pretending to send to the wrong number.

He doesn't sound very nice.

handfulofcottonbuds · 30/04/2014 08:13

If he was trying to get back with you then it's a twisted way to make you jealous if he's done it from her phone or someone else's phone.

Either way, the way he treated your DC on their birthday is unforgivable.

LividofLondon · 30/04/2014 08:14

Sounds like an escort checking a booking. Have you tried Googling the number? But no idea why it's to your phone unless that's the number he gave her in an attempt to wind you up. Maybe.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/04/2014 08:53

If she exists and it's not just him trying to get your interest, that was very much a "Hey ex DP he's with me now!" gesture.

On DS's birthday. That's an added insult.

I'd ignore. Don't let anyone provoke you.

Ivehearditallnow · 30/04/2014 11:44

Sounds like petty mind games OP - you're well out of that one x

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 30/04/2014 11:54

I think he's forwarded the message from her to you instead of replying to it.

Whatever it is that's happened is no concern of yours: he's an ex-partner for a reason. Not only is he an ex-partner, he was a cheating one. That's the death-knell, right there.

Forget about a relationship with him and move on with your life

Vivacia · 30/04/2014 12:26

When did all of this happen and am I right in understanding that you are separated? Surely you just roll your eyes and forget about the text?

cheesycrinkly · 30/04/2014 12:59

He's trying to make you jealous. It's fake

Its probs a PAYG sim which he is using

ForgiveMeFather · 30/04/2014 13:06

Just text back all bright and breezy and say hi (her name) this isn't the correct number for (his name) - his new number is xxxxxxx but let me know if you are struggling to contact him as happy to pass message on for you x

Ivehearditallnow · 30/04/2014 13:55

Yes! Agree with Forgive (apart from the 'let me know...' bit - let them get on with it, you don't want to be embroiled in a fake text conversation with a pathetic ex/random woman!) x

Original poster
Pinkballoon · 30/04/2014 14:42

Hi! Thanks for your replies. There's 2 issues really. The first is an obvious "what's it all about and how does she have my number?" issue. I never let him use my phone. The second is that he claims that I made the text up to stop him from seeing DC on her birthday. The fact that I have the text on my phone doesn't seem to have entered into his thought/ reasoning process, nor that he didn't actually ask to see DC on her birthday.

OP posts:
Mustangspirit · 30/04/2014 16:04

Does he have a common name? Is it possible that it was just a wrong number and the text was meant for someone else entirely?

My mum once rang an acquaintance called Allan. Poor Allan had no idea what she was talking about and eventually they realised it was the wrong Allan and she wasn't the Sue he knew either!

Original poster
Pinkballoon · 30/04/2014 19:24

His name is common, but its just TOO much of a coincidence, given his track record and the fact that he didn't see his own DC on their birthday (same day that the woman texting him was saying that she'd meet him at 10.) :(

OP posts:
sykadelic · 30/04/2014 20:28

It's just someone messing with you. I don't know anyone that would write like that in a normal text.

If I sent you a text for the first time it would be something more like:
"Hey! this is sykadelic! Still okay for 10am?"

If it was someone I already know it would simply be:
"10 still good?"

There's no reason for the name of your EXP. It's a set-up to mess with you. It's just a head-game. He's trying to reel you in with jealousy and make you feel like you're going crazy.

Just let it go. What a weirdo!

Original poster
Pinkballoon · 30/04/2014 20:41

Yes, you're right sykadelic, if I send a text to someone, I know I'll rarely put a name in it (mine or theirs.) I'd just presume they knew who I was from saving my number. So it is a set up.

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 01/05/2014 08:43

Unless of course it was an escort Hmm

QueenofallIsee · 01/05/2014 14:21

An ex of mine used to text me 'accidently' - sometimes it was a text talking about me to someone else, sometimes it was making plans with someone else and a few times it was texts claiming to be from a woman that he had spent the night with texting me from his phone

All these came through if he felt that I was not paying him enough attention or had the audacity to be moving on with my life post split. Cos I am you know, normal, it took me a while to realize it was attention seeking from him. thank your stars he is an ex and give it no more head space would be my advice

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