Sex! (or maybe not)

[Jellyboobs]

Can anyone tell me if it's normal to completely go off sex after having a child?
I thought at first it was because I was livid with the oh for doing bugger all round the house or with our dd, but after some yelling discussion he is much improved.
I want to do it but nothing happens. I don't even bother trying to have 'personal time' now, even if I do manage to get half an hour to myself, as nothing happens.

I used to be up for it a lot, now I might as well sew it up.

Well, I think normally there are lots of factors that feed in to how much you fancy your partner and want to sleep with them so it's never an easy question to answer.

But on the face of it - yes, I'm less interested, and your comment about 'personal time' rings a bell too. I have a lot less free time now and to be honest, most of the time I'd rather read a book or catch up with Mad Men

One thing I do struggle with is turning off the 'mum' part of my brain and just flipping to being 'lover' (boak, sorry, I hate that word but can't think of a better one) and so overall I do feel less 'sexy', though it's not like I feel like I look less attractive, or DP fancies me less.

Speaking personally, I have to be feeling relaxed to be in the mood for sex. If I'm tired, stressed, got too many thoughts in my head, annoyed, in a rush... in short, if anything is preventing me from feeling utterly chilled... then it's game over. Finding relaxation space in the schedule with a small child can be challenging but I'll be honest, that's why I went with a the much-maligned 'routine' for DS. I've been a lone parent since birth, I have worked FT since he was 13weeks. If I remember rightly it was a strict 6pm bath, 7pm bed & 7pm onwards 'grown-up time' and woe betide anyone who messed it up.. :)

I found myself switched off completely until I was BFing. After that it slowly came back