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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Child of a drug addict now I am a addict.

10 replies

Frustratedlady · 29/04/2014 09:12

My dad was a addict of ampethamine he injected it regularly and weed. Since the age of 8 I was forced to care for him when he had taken too much. I was taken round drug addicts houses where they would all be smoking weed. As my dad was a drug dealer I was even taken round houses where people were out cold on heroin. I also had to look after him when he had beat someone up and sustained injuries. I was constantly afraid he would die if not from the drug then from the beatings. At one point he was stabbed and another point someone burnt down his garage thinking he was in it. Police raids were also common place and I remember the neighbours curtains twitching while the police ransacked our house.

Now fast forward I'm 26 I have three dc and have been psychotically depressed for a year I started taking skunk to help self medicate. Now I'm addicted. I hate myself for it I don't take my children round drug addicts houses. I hide my smoking from them. They don't have to care for me. But I hate myself because I'm doing what my dad did to me to them at least partially.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/04/2014 09:16

Unlike your father you seem very self-aware, considerate of others, and I would strongly recommend that, now that you know you have a problem, you should seek help rather than hate yourself. Skunk is a depressant, of course, and you need to talk to your treatment team (I'm assuming you're with a GP) urgently and be honest with them.

FWIW I'm sorry you had such a traumatic childhood and I'm sad that Social Services and other agencies don't seem to have intervened at any point but left you in danger.

SandorClegane · 29/04/2014 09:23

Skunks an incredibly bad idea if you've suffered from psychosis in the past, can you self refer to your local community addiction team? Do you have a community psychiatric nurse who can help you to access support? You sound like you have the desire to stop, what you need is the support to do that.

Frustratedlady · 29/04/2014 15:52

Yes I would like to give up.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/04/2014 16:12

That's a good start and already sets you apart from your father. How about following up by booking an appointment with your GP?

Frustratedlady · 29/04/2014 16:14

Yeah I will do that.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/04/2014 16:31

Very best of luck. Hope you make this your last day of using and the first day of the rest of your (better) life.

Frustratedlady · 29/04/2014 16:45

Thank you.

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Mignonette · 29/04/2014 16:49

Hello Frustrated

Your post touches on a really important area in Mental health- dual diagnosis. Many people with mental health problems self medicate. I adivse you to ask your GP or mental health worker to refer you to either a community drug team or cmht that has somebody with specialist knowledge of dual diagnosis.

I have worked with many many clients with histories like yours and you have had to overcome (and live with) the most difficult of childhoods- one no child should have to endure. You have my utmost respect for your self awareness and determination and i wish you well in your future.

SunshineBossaNova · 29/04/2014 17:03

Good luck lady. Flowers

Frustratedlady · 29/04/2014 17:10

Thanks both.

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