Don't know what to think...

[mummaduke]

I could have posted this in AIBU but came here for a more balanced set of opinions...

DH suggested a family trip to the coast for his sisters birthday. PIL's were also invited and we booked a cottage for 3 nights.

On night one, DH announces he is off to local town centre after dinner to see his mates, who happen to be in town after a business meeting there. Bear in mind these are mates he sees regularly in our home town.

So, after hurrying to finish dinner, skipping the dessert his mother has made, DH runs off to the pub - he is 45. In a nutshell leaves me with 4 month old and the in-laws, on night one of a 'family holiday'.

Was I wrong to be pissed off and to have said so? He didn't see the issue. He didn't stay out for longer than a few hours but I was just a bit shocked by his decision to do this.

What do you think sensible ladies of mumsnet?

Wouldn't have bothered me tbh, so long as he's around the rest of the time.

Sorry to ask this, but are you sure meeting his mates is definitely what he did?

Yes, definitely met the mates.

Assuming Appletini's suspicions are not correct, I think it would depend on how often my OH got to go out and have some down-time normally.

He's out pretty frequently, pub once or twice a week after work, boys nights out monthly with the same group in question.

I have no problem with my H going out, ever.

But I would think it was possible that he tricked me into that trip and knew they would be there all along. Which is not on.

Not wrong to be pissed off. 'Announcing' he was bailing on you all was incredibly rude. He must have known they were there in advance and planned his night out without telling you. Sly...

I don't normally have a problem with him going out, but this came out of the blue, no prior warning, and quite frankly I was a bit miffed to just be left 'holding the baby' on a so called family trip away. Ok, it wasn't for long, but it was the principle.

In which case I would pissed off. This was not a much needed night out and part of a break for a guy who never normally gets any down-time.

It was, as others have said, a rather cynical piece of entitlement.

That's what I thought too... But realise I could be being a tad unreasonable and should get over it. This occasion went hand in hand with some other conversations about his going out/drinking and it was a bit of slap in the face to me.

I think it's unreasonable on a weekend away. I would be expecting to spend time together. The way he announced it was a bit off too.

I agree with Cog:

'Announcing' he was bailing on you all was incredibly rude. He must have known they were there in advance and planned his night out without telling you. Sly

It's not like this was some rare opportunity to catch up with people who lived locally and who he doesn't regularly see, but even if that were the case I'd expect him to have mentioned it before you went, not just announce it when you got there, having it all arranged as a fait accompli.

Might not even have been so bad if you were there with your own parents or friends, but to go away for HIS sister's birthday and stay with HIS parents while he swans off with his mates is just odd.

He sounds selfish.