DP cheated on me and justified it - so disappointed and crying

[NannyStar]

After weeks of suspecting DP has been seeing someone else, he finally confessed today that he has but he said now he has confessed he doesnt want anything between us to change - he still loves me a very lot but how can i believe it?

Basically he has been coming home 4 hours late from work, when I asked him where has he been he has said he has been out with his best friend Dion in a bar in our town, so I was fine with that. While my DP was at work 3 weeks ago Dion came around for a coffee and chat and I asked him what the bar was like they had drunk in. Dion replied he had never been and had not seen DP for a good few weeks as Dion had been away with work too much for any kind of social life. I told Dion what DP had said and we both figured DP must be having an affair so that night I asked him and he has denied it til today. He said what did I expect tho as african men are allowed more than one woman...wtf?!?!?! hes in england now. im so upset.

ahh thanks for helping her out with that ledodgy, luckily she just went around some bars with him in manchester

yes twinkie, dion is fantastic. very macho but doesnt think twice about coming around for a cuppa and a chat and runs me to london to interviews. hes fantastic. i have dated african men before DP but they never cheated on me. I need to book at a GUM centre. I currently have what I think is a STI, casuing me huge pain, wont go into too much detail...very gorey...but i havent had sex with dp since i suspected.

NannyStar, really sorry to hear what you're going through. Being cheated on is the pits and there is rarely - if ever - any justification for it, but that excuse takes the biscuit and is contemptuous.

And it is an excuse. Even if DP is of African origin, fact is, he is not living with you somewhere in Africa, within a specific African culture where it might be generally understood and accepted that men can have affairs without censure, or more than one wife or whatever.
Presumably, DP's not thick - he knows jolly well where he's living and what sort of culture prevails and his comment to you is therefore incredibly insulting and demeaning.

If he genuinely believes he is doing no wrong and this is how he wants/expects to conduct his life, he should have explained all of that to you right at the start and allowed you the choice to get involved or not. He knows that.

Please get yourself checked out asap ..... my God, if he's done that to you as well.

What are you going to do - have you thought about what happens next ?

Glad you kicked him out....Wonder how he thinks about the fact that in England, women have more than one man?

Get to the dr now, and if he has infected you, bin him off asap. what's dion's last name.. we knew a chap called dion that moved away.. such an unusual name.

wow, just came across this post I started back in August and through it all forgot to come back to post.

Well, almost 2 months on I am so happy and really, what he did was a blessing in disguise as I am going out most weekends with my friends, met a new 'friend' who may aspire into something more and just generally having fun which I couldn't do before!

I really thought it was the end of the world when this happened but I survived and there is no way I would go back to how it was now!

Dion's surname is Longley-Cooper. It transpired that my girl friend who came on holiday with us has been seriously lying to me and another friend all along, even through all the help, sympathy and time we gave her through her divorce...she was even invited on a romantic holiday with me and ex-dp ffs. She has just gone away again but when she gets back, I think that will be confrontation time.

I went for a sexual health check at a Brook Centre for young people and everything came back fine thank goodness.

For now I'm just enjoying being young, no settling down but if an African man wants to take me out for a date now I just go all cold and frightened. I think just the 1 rat made me label all African men cheaters