Coping with a divorce you never wanted

[Minion100]

After the worst year of my life and a long period of barely getting out of bed or being bothered to do anything, I have set about trying to find some sort of happiness without my stbXH.

One of the things I have started doing (which I love) is running through park every morning.

I also made a bucket list and wanted to try and achieve lots of things I was too scared or lazy to do before.

As well as that I have made lots of new friends and travel a lot more than I did when he was with me.

I still miss him horribly, but these things seem to help.

Can anyone else share how they have managed to cope with loss and how they might have found fresh happinesses in new things? I feel like if I get myself feeling wonderful about other things I will cope a bit better when the divorce papers come through the letterbox.

Going to the gym and imagining how amazing I was going to look and thinking na nana na can't touch this à la MC Hammer.

Of course then I got too lazy and depressed to keep going.

Sounds like you're on the right track! Keep going. You'll be fine.

Laughing at your first line :) I'll have to give that a try!

I had some therapy to help come to terms with it but at the same time I just accepted every invitation that came my way. I found that once the family home was sold, although a mixed blessing, I was able to start over on another level and since moving to my own house I feel better.

I also stopped looking to blame him for everything, took responsibility for my own part in the marriage failure (although not for his betrayals) and faced the truth head on. That helped me stop ruminating over every detail. I still miss him occasionally, over 3 years on. But that's natural the longer you've been together and the deeper the emotional connection you had IMO.

You'll get there you know. Just let it be what it is