Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

where do i start...

6 replies

leannecm · 27/04/2014 22:04

Hi im new on here just really need some advice please. Ive been with my partner for five long years, we have a three year old but ive finally had enough and need to get out. For five years hes hit me, beat me up, threatened to kill me. It stopped just before xmas when i left for the first time for a few weeks. The violence has stopped bht he still makes my life hell. Its at the point where i either get out or kill myself. I dont want to throw my life away and love my son to much. We live in a council house. Its in my name. He has no rights. But after last time when i tried to get rid of him he promised me if i took everything away from him he would make mylife hell. So my first thought was to run away withmy son and never be found. My son loves his dad well too much and would hate me for taking him away. My partner has always said he will never leave and tells me to. Ive had enough so my plan is to find a private rent house close enough to share custody and for my sons nursery but to sign my house over to partner. Ive read that you can sign over a tenancy in some cases but the partner has to of lived with you but i cant say that he say that he has because we were claiming seperate so he didnt steal all my money and have even more control.so what do i do? I want him to have my council house so i can make a new housing benefit claim somewhere else. Would the council allow this though my reasoning would be so we can share custody half the week each. Would this work its my only hope.

OP posts:
prettymess · 27/04/2014 22:17

Didn't want to leave this unanswered. I'm sorry you've been going through this. I'm not sure what to suggest either than contacting Woman's Aid and CAB. You really do have ways out of this. Take care.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/04/2014 22:17

I'm sorry you're in such a terrible situation but there are people who can help you. Before you do anything, please find a safe way to contact Womens Aid 0808 2000 247 and ask for their advice. It sounds to me as though you need refuge as a matter of urgency and, when you are safe and away, then you can tackle things like housing, money and access arrangements.

Your DS is only three and, even though he is fond of his Dad, he is being damaged by being trapped in his abuse of you. A violent man should never be in sole charge of a child. So please make that call and keep calling if you don't get through first time. Good luck

mummyOF4darlings · 27/04/2014 22:20

Hi, sorry not been in this position so no real advice for you other than the obvious. Not sure if there is anything in your area but we have a local organisation called staying put, my sister was put intouch with them and they were really helpful, ill have a look see if i can post a link for you x

mummyOF4darlings · 27/04/2014 22:23

Ah sorry think its just a West yorkshire organisation thing by look of it. Im sure if you google leaving domestic violence and put your area they will be something similar come up. Good luck x

handfulofcottonbuds · 27/04/2014 22:23

I'm sorry you're in this terrible situation.

Woman's Aid is the best starting point. Please also make sure you log on here and do internet searches through private browsing and delete your history and cookies.

Appletini · 28/04/2014 08:19

Your son will not hate you. He may not understand now but he will thank you one day and chances are he already knows things aren't okay. Kids pick up on what's going on with their parents.

There are people who can help you and stop him making your life hell. Please call police (you could go to a call box and ring 101 for advice in the first instance if you're nervous and/or women's aid. There IS help. You CAN get out of this.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page