Lonely...

[Happymum1985]

... This sounds awfully self pitying, but I'm really lonely and its getting me down. Just before I fell pregnant I moved to a new city as DP got a new job. Left a lot of friends behind, and due to working fulltime and doing an evening job, I didn't really have the time to join any prenatal groups. I now have a 5 m/o DS who I adore, but am really missing having friends around- baby is great, but he doesn't talk back yet!! My DP works away a lot so I am often alone and don't have any family in the area. To top it off money is really tight for me, so can't afford to join any baby classes to try and meet other people that way- I have looked into it and they are pricey. Has anyone been through the same thing? Any suggestions?

OK, will do. He is away til wed so will tackle it then.. I think its just something thats not been properly discussed since way back when we got together- and now we are living together with a child, but our finances are still the same as when we were dating and living apart!

So I spoke to DP last night and he has agreed we need to set up a joint account.. He said he didnt like to think of me being unhappy, and didnt want me to be worrying about money (don't know how he thought I was managing- but maybe he just didnt think??) Next week I'm going to seek out some groups. Thanks all, I wouldnt have forced myself to have the chat if it wasnt for your responses.

Hi happy I have just messaged you
.(only to name a group no clandestine messages!)

Also make sure you are in receipt of all applicable child tax credit and working tax credit. You may be over the threshold but a quick Google will soon show

Glad to hear it Happy :)

Well done and I hope things pick up for you very soon.

I'm so glad your financial situation is getting sorted out.

I'm giving you another example of a fair way couples can share finances. I earn slightly more than DH. We both have our wages paid to he joint account. All household expenses are taken from the joint account. We agree on what we will save for holidays etc. Then what is left over each month is split evenly into our personal accounts. I buy my clothes makeup etc from my own account, DH can buy his toys. We only started doing it this way from just before I went on maternity. We used to have wages into out own account and pay everything 50/50. That obviously doesn't work when I am on maternity! (We always have earned similar so there wasn't an issue of me or him should contribute a larger share).

Thanks toddleterror its really helpful to read about how other people figure it out. DH earns quite a bit more than me, so I didnt want him to feel I wanted to spend his money, I just want to get by comfortably without always worrying!