Do you have a DS.... Please help me feel happier!

[Sickandtired14]

I have just found out that baby no2 is a boy. I'm not disappointed. But I wanted a girl. I know your not supposed to say that and your supposed to love a child whatever the sex and I will love him. He's my child of course I'll love him. I'm just not as excited as I would have been if it was a girl. Which is making me sad cos I want to be excited. I am so worried that when he is born I will favour his older DD and that he will be second best and that I might not put the effort in with him. His dad is over the moon to be having a boy.

If anyone has been through this please reassure me that I won't begrudge this child and that I will fall in love with him as I did my daughter. I want to be an amazing mummy, just for some reason, I wanted another girl and now I feel a bit lost at sea about a boy and it worries me :(

Thanks in advance

I have a little girl and wouldn't mind another. Dh desperate for a little boy and was gutted when we found out we were having a girl. And do you know what? He loves our little girl so much. She has melted his heart! Ever heard the expressions, 'daddy's girl' and 'mummy's boy'? They do ring true in most cases! So like you I am maf about my dd but if we have a boy next I will just roll with it. I have asked around and people who have both genders tell me that wee boys are much more affectionate and cuddly than girls. So that's something for you to look forward to I would say!

Congratulations!

I have an older dd too and cried when I found out ds was a boy because I was so disappointed. He is 4yo now, and the greatest joy. My fierce love for him is the best surprise of my life.

I wanted my 3rd DC to be a boy, to the point that I found out the gender in pregnancy. Baby was in fact a girl which I was disappointed about and it took me a few weeks to get my head around it. By the time she was born I was fully excited about having a girl, she is now 3 and I cannot imagine my life any differently, she completes our family perfectly.

Your feelings are normal so please don't worry about them. I think it's normal to worry that you can't possibly love a second child as much as your first, you will, and any more that come along after.

I have two boys and love it!

When DS1 (now ten) was smaller, I would thank him daily for the fact that I didn't have to fake an interest in Hannah bloody Montana or similar.

It's always seems to be little boys people be dissapointed over. I can never understand as I got pregnant to have a child, not a gender. I have a ds aged 4 who is wonderful, polite, cuddly, kind, clever, he is a joy. I am 21 weeks pregnant with my second son and over the moon to! I am not fussed I will never have a girl, I'm just very grateful I have had two healthy pregnancies :) I'm sure you won't care when the baby is here.

OP My first baby was a boy. He's now 15. He's great and I love him. Had I been given a choice, I would have chosen a daughter, but I wouldn't change him for anything.

He's kind, sensitive, thoughtful, creative, artistic, quick witted and has a great sense of humour, a bit stinky, reasonably self sufficient, clever... He's taller than me and it's lovely when he puts his arm round me.

He's brilliant with his younger sister and I only ever receive compliments about him and his behaviour.

His sister is very similar, whilst at the same time being a completely different personality to him.

They are both great. Their genders are irrelevant.

Quite aside from gender, I do think it is quite normal anyway to worry about loving DC2 as much as your pfb. You will!

I don't know why people don't want boys. There seems to be a big gender bias these days- look at how many girls clothes there are how compared to how many boys clothes.

Mums of boys are making husbands of the future. And all that tosh about sons not staying in touch when they're older is rubbish. It depends on the relationship you have, not what gender they are.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a daughter, but I am enormously grateful for my two healthy, happy boys and not in the slightest bit disappointed. I think I have been given the best children in the world, and whatever gender your child will be, I am sure that you will think the same OP.

I felt similar when carrying my son. He ended up being our middle one with an older and younger sister. Of all of them he is the most genuinely loving kind and caring of the three. I'm so glad he is a boy, you will find that they sort of compliment each other, and you will get joy in watching the relationship build up between them - whatever the sex.

Mine are teens now but we had dd first and then, same as you, we wanted another dd. I think it was a lack of imagination on my part - I was female, I had a daughter and I couldn't imagine having a son. I can't begin to tell you I happy I am that our second child was a boy. I fell in love with him instantly (didn't happen like that with dd who was taken to neo natal unit for several days after birth) and I have never fallen out of love with him! Whilst I love both dc equally, I love them differently and I feel very lucky to have got to experience the mother-son bond. Don't worry - you will love it!