bullying vidinctive husband

[Poppett11]

my daughter has just found the courage to leave a man who intimidated, bullied and ruled her life for 14 years she is terrified of him . we went to court as although he was seeing the children every other weekend for a stopover and one day each week he chose to snatch them from kids club over the Easter holiday. We applied for a contact and residency order and the children are back home . We have now received a letter from his solicitor saying he wants the children age 11 and 7 to live with him at his parents home in another borough . The 11 year old is due to start his new school in September and he wants both of the children to start new schools where he now lives with his parents , my daughter works full time weekdays 9 to 5 he has just acquired a job working 4am to 830am am and says the children would be better off with him as he hasn't a full time job , he also has a past history of drugs , bullying and erratic employment . I cant see he would get custody as my daughter has never even smoked a cigarette is hardworking and loves her children . Her x and his parents have been showering the children with gifts and days out when in the past have done none of this .

At that age they don't need a parent at home during the day, and the snatching alone would have been enough for me to apply for supervised contact.

Just because he's applied for custody doesn't mean he will get it. YOur daughter might find it useful to ring Women's Aid for advice. And talk to a solicitor as well. Abusive men often apply to court as a way of further harassing the women who have dumped their sorry arses - it doesn't mean they will get what they ask for.

Thanks I am really worried he is a very nasty person , it is difficult for her and when she picks up and drops the children off she never knows exactly how he will be . Sometimes he attempts to be nice and like the other day scathing and threatening in his way as soon as the children are in the car out of sight .

The children really don't need to be exposed to that.
I'd be getting legal advice and move towards supervised contact.

Definteily get a lawyer. Your DD and her kids have a right to live free of this man's abuse and he can be made to leave them alone or go to prison.
Unfortunately it can be easy to believe that an abuser is above the law and has superpowers and that nothing that can be done to keep him away. This isn't true. These men can be put in their place and kept at a good safe distance.

Echoing the advice to get legal representation and urgently. His appalling behaviour sounds like it's on record and therefore his threats are just threats. However he needs to be cut off at the knees and, for that, she'll need a lawyer. Womens Aid 0808 2000 247 can potentially give her the names of some local solicitors who specialise in DV cases. In the meantime, she needs to stay out of contact.

BTW... his solicitor must be rubbing his/her hands at the money coming their way from his groundless custody case.

we have a solicitor but are running out of money very fast as my daughter has none and we are paying, her husbands family have lots of money we may have to call it a day does this mean he takes the children . He is earning a lot of money cash in hand as well .

Talk to your solicitor about the payment problem and see what they suggest. It is not the case that the person with the most money wins the day. If your DD has no money and there is evidence of DV then she should qualify for Legal Aid.

She could self represent if he takes her to court over custody.
In any case, do contact WA and children's charities for help.

But she should report every nasty behaviour.

Can any one tell me what a D11 form is as their solicitor wants to raise one and for us to share the costs ?. Thanks

It's an application notice related to divorce/civil partnership dissolution. Why has the solicitor not explained this?

We have just had a letter from the opposing solicitor how does this relate to a child custody battle if no divorce has yet been discussed Thanks

Lawyer up seriously. Change lawyer if necessary. Get a recommendation for the best lawyer for this kind of case. This does not necessarily mean more expensive. Get proof, witness statements, leave no stone unturned. The threat if loosing your kids is terrifying.

I had a similar situation a while back. After getting no where fast with a crap solicitor I snapped one day and walked into a woman's aid shelter(I'd been before for outreach).

I had an appointment with a solicitor the next day, and went to court the day after for necessary orders which were granted ex parte.

Your locals women's aid will at the very least recommend a local solicitor. Your daughter may qualify for some legal help due to the emotional abuse she is facing.

And insist she stops the handovers in person, is third party an option? Or having someone else present?

Or, at the very least, can she record handovers on her phone?