Resentment in marriage, can you recover the relationship?

[Wearegoingtobedlehem]

Just wondered really. I feel resentment to my husband as since having the kids I think some of his behaviour has been appalling. In fact a lot of it. How can you work through problems, my husband will not consider counselling. He seems happy ? with how things are.

Let me guess.... he does very little re childcare and domestic stuff and pretty much carries on as before DC was born?
Of course HE is happy as things are. He has a cook, nanny and someone to service his needs in bed.
Why would he want to lose all that?
You need to either talk to him about this or get legal advice.

What is he doing or not doing that is causing your resentment?

Dripty you are exactly right. He is self employed so pleases himself work wise 7 days a week 12 hours a day ( yes he works hard but income is poor and family time is nil). He still socialises as much as he ever did. I do work though not full time, however he has indicated I need to earn more. I do all the nursery runs, cooking, cleaning, bill paying etc etc. I booked a short break in the winter and he stayed working while I took the kids. He is simply an absent father and husband. He sees it that he does no wrong. He has also come out with some pretty horrendous shit and cannot be relied upon at all :(
For all these people that say they wake up next to their best friend, well I am very sad to say I do not feel this way.

I clearly was wrong thinking that he may reduce his working hours and social commitments when he had kids. I some times think I'll do the same , but a) I had kids to spend time with them and enjoy them and b) I couldn't do that as if I'm not at work I have the kids etc.

Well then you have two choices.
You can stay, as I did in the hope that he would suddenly wake up and become "my best friend".
Or you can give up, as I did eventually, and start divorce proceedings.
As I learnt to my cost you cannot make someone take an active part in family life if they just want to fanny about on the sidelines.