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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is the norm regarding NRP contact?

6 replies

dripty · 26/04/2014 21:21

I realise that everyone's situation is different but am in the middle of separating and have no idea how to sort out access/ overnights etc.
Is it EOW plus one overnight midweek?
TIA

OP posts:
herald · 26/04/2014 22:53

I don't think it's a set format, it's down to what works for your situation my exw and myself have 50/50 with my dd and our ds is with me all the time...

dripty · 26/04/2014 23:08

So when you say 50/50 does that mean 3 days with you and 4 days with EX?

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 27/04/2014 00:29

It depends on the ages of the children as well as the state of the relationship. For instance, a BF baby wouldn't be away from mother overnight. If the NRP is abusive, or has a drink/drugs problem, contact can be restricted or stopped if it's not good for the children for it to continue.

herald · 27/04/2014 00:37

It rolls from week to week , if I have her the weekend I drop her at school mon morning, she goes to her mums mon night, tue, I collect her wed night after school keep her wed night ,thu night , drop her at school fri morning then she is at her mums fri night then all weekend....then it starts again Monday morning ....so every week the nights alternate ...it works for us and give me loads of access and also a free weekend every other week ...hope that makes sense

LyndaCartersBigPants · 27/04/2014 00:37

The general consensus is that it shouldn't be about what is 'fair' for the parents, it's about what works best for the children.

Mine stay with their dad once a week, on whichever day works with his shifts. I'd prefer a more regular day and the DCs would prefer to have 2 nights with him, but due to his work this is how we do it.

DP has 50/50 with his ex, so a set 3 nights each and the other night alternates each week.

It depends on your living arrangements, work commitments and whether school is a factor (does ex live close enough to do midweek school runs?) as well as what makes the DCs happy.

There's no point doing 50/50 if one of you works until 8pm and they don't get to see that parent on 'their' night. In my opinion, they would be better with the other parent if they are at home.

However, each family is different. What matters is that your children are as happy with the arrangement as they can be, are they able to have a say in it at all? Do you and the ex get on well enough to all sit down together and discuss it?

dripty · 28/04/2014 07:31

Thanks for replies.
Am in the early stage if split so not sure yet how STBX is going to react to my suggestions re DCs.
An hoping he will be co operative and agree to 50/50 as much as possible.

OP posts:
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