Introducing new relationship with friend to DD

[cooperjay]

DD is 5. Her father and I split 3 years ago but we are on good terms and she sees her dad often. Since the divorce, I've dated a couple of guys but DD has been unaware as I never introduced either of them into her life as neither became serious or worked out.

My best friend is guy I have known for 7 years, let's call him Bill. Bill and I have always been very close, he adores DD although doesn't see her that often as we live in different cities and he travels a lot for work. She absolutely loves him and he has always been 'Uncle' Bill, since she was a baby. I know some people find the naming of non relatives as auntie/ uncle weird and I'm one of them tbh, I think it started out a bit jokey and stuck! Bill is bisexual and up until 5 months ago was in a relationship with a guy (let's call him Bob). They were together 4 years and so DD usually saw them together as a couple. She never questioned this, but I did explain to her that sometimes men fall in love with men and women fall in love with women and she accepted this fine. I supported Bill through this breakup and he has stayed with us several times since then. Our relationship has grown closer and recently began to change into something romantic. I agonised over this a lot but ultimately I'm in love with him and know he loves both me and my daughter and will make us happy. I'm just feeling very stressed about introducing this relationship to DD? It already feels weird that she calls him her uncle. He is currently still sleeping in the guestroom when he comes to stay, if she is here at the same time. Yesterday, we took her to the park and she called us out for holding hands! She also is still asking where Bob is and when he is coming to stay too! To make matters worse, my friend and sis are completely against the relationship, think I'm crazy to be taking this step with him and just keep telling me he's gay and he's confused They have also said this will 'mess up' DD. I am unable to get any perspectives on this in RL as only friend and sis know about the relationship atm. Anyone have any advice on introducing a new partner to DC? I am wondering if this is just a crazy idea and I can't see that because I'm high on new relationship buzz! Thanks.

If it's only 5 months since he broke up with Bob then it is definitely too early to suggest that you and he are in a relationship.

If his relationship with Bob was serious then I'd be worried that it's a bit too soon for him to be starting a new serious relationship altogether, even without bringing your daughter into it.

You don't have to "introduce this relationship to DD". She already has a relationship with this man and has had one for some time now, albeit that your relationship with him has changed, but her hasn't. At five she's much too young to be made aware of adult sexual relationships and I'd advise you to keep your counsel and be discrete about it with her.

step one, explain to her that he and bob have broken up some time ago and let that sink in first.

Other than that you are about to start a relationship with someone that adores your daughter and vice versa........LUCKY YOU!

MuttonCadet Yeah I must admit I have had the same concerns. That's pretty much exactly what my sister said, that he is on the rebound and mixed up. I have always found him attractive and he says he has always felt the same way about me... but we have never both been single at the same time before! So I don't think it has come out of nowhere but you're right, it's a big leap so soon after coming out of a serious relationship. Don't know how to deal with that though.

Bitter Thanks, I'll take that on board. It was never my intention to make her aware of sexual relationships, more explain the change in dynamic between myself and B. She's pretty astute and a lot of the time we spend together is spent with DD. But you're right, discretion is the way to go.

getthefectouttahere I've done step one but don't think she's really taken it on board tbh. And yeah, I do feel lucky. That is exactly what I've been trying to explain to DSis and friend! I've done my time with fuckwit men and just feel fortunate to have a good one!!