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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't stop crying

2 replies

helen64 · 24/04/2014 21:12

My ex and I split up last week, mutual conclusion. My feelings had definitely started to wand and he could tell. We'd previously got on very well, loved each other's children and been together for nearly a year

Despite being happy at this initially, I now miss him and the life we had so much. So I took the plunge, asked if we could try again and he said no

He said he loves me, he agrees with everything I said about how good we were, but said he couldn't risk it going wrong. He suffers from anxiety and I know he worries about a lot of things, all the time

I really pulled out all the stops, but he was adamant.

Now I'm devastated. I miss him, and his children, and I'm full of regret for not trying harder, and being more accepting of some of the habits that I was unhappy with

Life stretches ahead of me now, empty and lonely. My children have almost flown the nest, as have his, and I just can't see why he wouldn't give us another chance.

I don't know what to do now.

OP posts:
SecretSix · 24/04/2014 21:26

You mourn for a bit, and you don't ring, and after a while you start thinking about what else you might do. And eventually you move on.

I'm sorry you're sad, a break up is awful, but whilst it's fine to remember the happy times, it's important to remember why you split up.

I split up with someone (his choice) and I was determined I wouldn't ring until 12 weeks had gone past. And when it got to 12 weeks, I found I didn't actually want to talk to him any more. A week is no time at all to recover, so hang on in there. Thanks

onetiredmummy · 25/04/2014 09:34

Its normal to feel like this after a break up.

Just remember that there were good & valid reasons why you split & if you did get back together then those reasons would still be there. Being with someone because its too scary or lonely to be single is not a good reason to be in a relationship. These habits that you refer to clearly annoyed you & there is no good reason why you should put up and shut up. Its not a case of he was your last chance or that there will now be no more men.

if your children are older then make the most of it. Get thee to an evening class or start a hobby, anything that will make you meet people you have things in common with.

These first days can be hard, but it will be OK Brew

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