Anyone else offended by partner wanking?!

[SJC2014]

I'm pregnant- 12 weeks and ever since I found out I have gone off sex!! My partner has admitted to pleasuring himself when I'm not around. I know it's silly but I feel really hurt- not about the wanking but about him watching gorgeous skinny porn women that are not fat and pregnant with perfect bodies shagging!! I asked what he used to get him off and he won't say!.. Said I'm embarrassing him. It's put me off doing it even more.

I've been on and off meds all my life. Been off them about 2 years now. Going back on them if you need them is no big deal. And if they make you feel numb you may need to try some different ones - I tried 3 types before I found one that agreed with me.

Pregnancy and birth does really funny things to your hormones... hence why ante and post natal depression are so common. Don't feel bad about asking for help.

I'm not suggesting by the way that you're wrong for not wanting to have sex, if you don't want to that's absolutely fine but you should be able to get to a point where you can enjoy some of your pregnancy.

Don't ever think that when a guy watches porn that he wishes he was shagging them instead of his wife. It's generally not the case. I have watched porn but I still found my wife highly arousing and sexy. It's simple...... You can't sleep with him at the mo, he needs some stimulation to get him off so he's using porn. Don't get yourself down thinking you won't compare to the actors in the porn vids as we genuinely would have no interest in getting with a girl like that. We want a regular woman who we can call our own who wants to please us and we want to please them. Of that's how it is for me anyway.

Chin up, chill out and calm down. The fact your husband is embarrassed means something. At least your both honest with each other. Maybe you shouldn't ask and he shouldn't tell you everything in future:)

Just to let you know, I know myself and many men actually find a pregnant woman very sexy to look at.

This link is worth a read, especially for all those whose partner's are not allowed to/don't use porn.

Read it before jj. My husband still doesn't watch porn. That's not to say that as a teen he didn't once experiment with it, but as an adult? no and he is probably against porn more than I am.

I am glad you feel a bit better OP.

I'd find out or ask him what kind of porn he's watching, most of it is abusive and unrealistic.

No problem with the self pleasuring but I would want to know what he's watching, depending on what it is exactly would depend on my reaction.

I'd feel the same as you, it's not exactly going to please you, esp when pregnant!

It doesn't sound like what you have is a problem with him wanting. It sounds like you have a problem with your feelings about yourself now you are pregnant and your body is changing and that you have a problem with him using porn because your fragile self esteem is threatened by the impossibly bodied women depicted in it.

I think fairy's advice is good about improving your self esteem. I think you need to work out where your boundaries are set re porn and have a conversation with him about it.

*wanking